Blind, But Now I See
by Kyriebess
Summary: Short story where Sam gets a clear revelation about how special Dean is compared to other brothers. Then he tries to thank Dean for it, much to Dean's dismay, while they finish the ghost hunt. Sam POV, hurt!Sam, protective!Dean, minor hurt!Dean
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Supernatural and its characters belong to the CW- I'm just borrowing. The plot and anyone else is mine.**

_So, this is another compare/contrast piece. I just felt that Dean needed some ego boosting, so I wrote this little piece- not that Dean was willing to work with me on this…_

_It's four chapters, all Sam POV, and includes hurt!Sam, but it's really just a schmoopy piece about how awesome Dean is as a brother. It's just one big chickflick moment because I was too lazy to write a story around it to balance it out…_

_Enjoy…_

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**Blind, But Now I See: Chapter 1-**

Sam listened to the boy across from him with a ball of pity and depression growing inside of him. The "child" wasn't really so much a "child" as a preteen, and even then not really a preteen seeing as how he was a ghost. After all, ghosts really weren't _pre_ anything anymore.

Danny, the particular ghost in question, was still talking with quite a bit of animation- especially considering that he was dead. Sam figured that the boy's parents probably would've put the kid on Ritalin if he were still alive, and still twelve-years-old.

"Did you know…my brother took this egg once, for this contest in the town fair, and dropped it FIFTY FEET off this bridge, and it didn't even break! He was the only one in the whole town who could do it!"

Sam smiled and nodded at the boy. Danny had been telling Sam all about his brother, Drew, for over an hour now. Sam had met Drew in person, at his job at a chemical plant. Drew was now forty years old, a chemical engineer, and head of detergent design for a company that produced engine oil. However, in Danny's eyes, Drew was his sixteen-year-old brother.

"He is so cool! This weekend, or whenever he finds me, he said he'll even go fishing with me! I'm so excited! I go fishing with my dad all the time, but Drew never comes- he says it's gross because you have to touch the dead fish. But I told him that I like touching the dead fish so I'd just take his off too. My friend Tommy says that he doesn't think Drew knows how to fish. Tommy's coming with us when we go. I bet him that Drew will catch more fish than both of us put together. He's a genius. He knows everything!"

Sam turned away, unable to hide his emotions. To hear Danny talk about Drew- the kid worshipped his brother and listening to him, well, Sam couldn't help but be reminded of himself. The way Danny described his brother, it could have come word for word out of Sam's own mouth at that age. But Sam had gotten Dean as a brother and, unfortunately, poor Danny had gotten Drew.

Drew that brought the kid into the forest telling him it'd be a short cut home and purposefully walked him past a group of local druggies. Drew who let the kid get beaten by the druggies and then "saved" him from them, only to run Danny off a small cliff. It was at that point that Danny broke his leg and was unable to climb out. Drew assured him he'd take care of it and be back with help…he told Danny to wait right there. "Don't move," he had said. Twenty-four years later, Danny was still sitting there waiting for his hero to return…because Drew would be back. He had said so.

Sam buried his head in his knees.

"When do you think your brother'll be back?"

Sam looked up; Danny was right in front of him, staring at him with white, glowy, transparent eyes. Sam shrugged, "As soon as he gets a rope."

It was the ghosts of the two local druggies, the ones who had overdosed about a week after Danny had "gone missing" that had brought the brothers to the forest. The two dead delinquents had been torturing and tormenting people for years, to the point where not even the park officials wanted to patrol the area.

Naturally, Sam and Dean had immediately taken the case, which is when they met Drew. Drew, who although he complained a fair amount about having to take care of his little brother and "waste his life a way" watching his little brother, failed to have mentioned that he also passively _killed_ his little brother. Sam only found that out after Danny told him the story. Drew had known where he was, known he was injured, and left him there to die.

Briefly Sam wondered if Drew had also given the druggies "higher quality" drugs to do away with them as witnesses. If he had, it might explain why they were still around, or maybe they died on their own…

"Did your brother get straight A's in school too?"

Sam laughed and shook his head, stretching his legs out. "No. School was never really Dean's thing."

"Oh." Danny seemed to ponder this and then nodded. "Sports guy, huh?"

Sam laughed again and raised his eyebrows. "No. Sports were never really his thing either."

"Oh." Now the spirit looked confused. "Isn't he good at anything?"

Defensiveness flared in Sam and he answered before remembering that he was sitting across from a boy whose brother had led him to his death. "Yeah- saving me."

Sam winced as soon as the comment was out of his mouth, but thankfully, the boy didn't seem to notice how potentially nasty the statement was. Danny smiled, "I guess that's a good thing to be good at. My brother's good at that too. Before I fell, Drew got those guys to let go of me. They would've killed me otherwise. Hey. Does your brother cook?"

Sam smiled. "He makes a real mean mac and cheese."

Danny smiled back. "My brother cooks all the time. Tommy says he's gay." Danny looked annoyed for a second. "He's not…" Sam raised his brows as he thought back to when he met Drew…Tommy may have been right, but that was just speculation. "…but he cooks everything. He says it's just like chemistry, but with food. Sometimes I sneak into the kitchen while he's cooking and taste it when he's not looking." Danny giggled. "He gets really pissed. One time he even whacked me with a wooden spoon- you should've seen the bruise! It was so cool! It was all these different colors…"

Sam looked down at his own arm as the ghost went on describing his former bruise. His wrist was broken, that much he knew. It was purple, and swollen, and it was clear that the bone was misaligned. Not to mention the excruciating pain. He had broken it in the fall, ironically reliving Danny's last few moments before he went missing. In fact, now that he thought about it, what had happened to Danny was _so _similar to what had happened to him this evening that Sam was wondering if the two dead druggies _had_ been reliving their interaction with Danny. Sam shook his head, probably not. After all, the ghosts chased and attacked anyone who traveled through the woods, it was really Sam and Dean on their own who had ran in the same path as Drew and Danny. And of course, it was Sam, of his own stupid accord, that had run right off the twenty foot, muddied embankment and broke his arm. The same one that Danny had run off twenty-four years ago, breaking his leg.

"I hope your brother doesn't get lost too."

Sam looked up the muddy cliff; unfortunately, the top of the embankment was impossible to see from his position. "How long have you been here Danny?"

He knew he was risking agitating the ghost with the question, but he was curious of how aware the boy was. Sam watched as Danny sadly looked over at his own remains. "I…I'm not sure." Then the boy looked back to the top of the cliff. "But Drew should be back any minute for me. I didn't move. Just like he said. Hey, Sam?"

Sam took a breath and nodded. "You think Drew'll be proud that I listened to him?"

Sam thought about his answer carefully before addressing the spirit's question. "You know you're dead…don't you Danny?"

Danny looked over at his bones again before nodding. Sam swallowed, relieved that his hunch had been correct and that news hadn't come as a shock. "Well, I think Drew would probably have wanted you to move on, you know? Like, go to Heaven, be at peace."

He didn't know if the boy believed in Heaven, but based on the kid's Irish heritage, it was probably a safe bet. If he could convince the spirit to let go of this world, then maybe the boy could finally find some peace.

For his part, Danny seemed to consider Sam's suggestion, looking upset before finally shaking his head. "No. He told me to wait for him. I need to be here when he comes back. Otherwise he'll think I left him."

Sam sighed in defeat. His arm was throbbing.

"Hey Sam!"

Sam turned back to his companion and once again Danny was bouncing with excitement. "Tell me about your brother!"

Sam smiled and cleared his throat. "Uh…well…he's older than me. Um, he likes to hunt. He's a really good shot, probably the best shot I know." Danny smiled, clearly sharing in Sam's pride. Sam grinned back as he continued. "He's got this car that he's in love with."

Danny laughed. "He's in love with a car?"

Sam laughed back and leaned his head on the muddy wall behind him. "It's a 1967 Chevy Impala."

"1967? Why would he want that old piece of junk? My friend Tommy, his dad had one of them. He sold it last month for like thirty bucks."

For a moment Sam was confused until he realized that the boy had died in 1982. Sam talking about a '67 Impala was equal to someone in 2007 talking about a '92 Ford Taurus. Still, Dean would have been more than a little upset to hear his "baby" be referred to as "an old piece of junk".

"What else is your brother like?"

Sam looked up at the night stars as he answered. "Uh…he's a smooth talker, good at picking up girls and getting himself out of trouble. He's smart, knows pretty much everything there is to know about our business. He's loyal to a fault. He can be funny…sometimes. And then he can be really annoying sometimes. But…he's always there when I need him."

The ghost nodded. "He sounds like my brother."

Sam didn't say anything, although Danny was right. Based on their descriptions, Dean and Drew _did_ sound like they were alike. Through their brother's eyes, both were equally adored. But Drew didn't deserve it. Sam wondered how Danny couldn't see it. He had been waiting 24 years for Drew to return. He had _died_ waiting for Drew to return. Drew had beaten him with a spoon, and yet Danny couldn't see any of it.

A sudden thought jumped into Sam's head and he tried to picture _Dean_ not coming back. If Danny trusted Drew as much as Sam trusted Dean, and Danny had been wrong, it was possible that Sam was too. And suddenly Sam was overwhelmed as a montage of memories attacked his mind:

"_I've tried so hard to keep you safe…"_

"_I can't; I would rather die…"_

"_Shoot me!" "No, Sammy, come on…"_

Okay, no way in hell Dean wouldn't be back for him. Sam had 'turned evil,' was in the process of torturing someone, had _begged_ Dean to kill him, and Dean hadn't done it. If Dean had wanted Sam dead…he certainly had the opportunity. And even if he wanted to 'kill' Sam passively, he could've just let the Benders do it.

Sam slammed his head against the mud. Dean was so consistently loyal, loved him so unconditionally, that he couldn't even successfully _imagine_ that Dean would leave him there.

"Maybe our brothers will come back together. Maybe Dean can remind Drew where he left me. I think he might be lost."

Sam picked his head up to look at the ghost. He had a packet of salt and a lighter in his pocket, he could torch the remains- Dean probably would've- but somehow, Sam just couldn't bring himself to do it. It probably wouldn't work anyway, they were right by the river, and the bones were probably too wet to catch.

Thinking of the nearby river sent a chill through his body. It had become much colder since the sun had set, and the mist coming off the river didn't help. Sam pulled his jacket tighter around himself.

The boy noticed the action. "You cold?"

Sam nodded and closed his eyes.

"You look sick. I'd give you my jacket, but I don't have one. Drew has one, he'll probably lend it to me if I ask…maybe. It'd probably fit…"

Sam shook his head. "I'm fine."

Sam shivered more as he felt the spirit's cold presence settle next to him. "It hurts doesn't it?"

Sam peeked an eye open and looked down at the apparition. "My arm?"

Danny's bubbly face suddenly took on a serious expression as he shook his head. "Dying."

Sam started. "It's only been two hours. I don't think I'm dying."

"It makes your bones feel cold."

That Sam couldn't argue with, his bones did feel cold.

"At least you don't have to die alone like I did. I'll be here with you, and if Drew comes, we'll save you."

Sam smiled. "Thanks Danny, but Dean'll be back any minute now."

The boy nodded. "That's what I said…but it just got colder. Even during the days it was colder."

Sam closed his eyes again, unwilling to see the betrayed soul. "Danny…how long were you waiting? I mean, while you were alive?"

There was a pause before Sam heard the answer. "Four nights. I think. It's hard to tell because after the first two it got really hard to think and I kept sleeping and throwing up and stuff. I just kept praying, but I never really worried, because Drew said he'd be right back. I knew he'd find me."

Sam willed the tear not to slip out from under his eye. If he ever saw Drew again…he might just have to accept his destiny, commit murder, and go darkside.

"…After the first two nights, the only thing I _really_ remember is the end, because I was scared. I just didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to die by myself. I was never by myself. When I was sick, my parents were always with me. People aren't supposed to die without anyone knowing. I didn't want my death to be like that. After all, you only get the one. Plus, I was so close to town, it wasn't fair, my family was so close…"

The tear could no longer be held and Sam quickly wiped it away. Dean was right, he was too damn sensitive.

"Drew will come back though. He said he would. He promised. He always keeps his promises. Does Dean? I mean, does Dean always keep his promises?"

Sam opened his eyes and shook his head with a smile. "Not all of them, only the good ones."

Danny looked confused. "Aren't all promises good?"

Sam shook his head again. "No, and Dean's smart enough to know which ones he shouldn't keep."

"Oh." The ghost moved back over to his remains, thankfully taking some of the cold back with him. "Then why did he make them in the first place?"

"Uh," Sam grinned and cleared his throat, "he's got a problem saying 'no' to me. Used to really piss our dad off… Never helped that I'd use it to my advantage."

The boy looked confused, but before Sam could be questioned, the spirit disappeared. Sam looked around quickly before he was distracted by a voice from above.

"Sam!"

It was Dean. He had never doubted that Dean would return, but Sam now realized that that was just a symptom of taking his brother for granted. Of course Dean would come back and save his ass…duh. Except that it wasn't 'of course' and 'duh'- he was lucky, _extremely_ lucky that Dean would come back and save him, because not all brothers did. And not all brothers would die for their siblings, and not all brothers would sacrifice their lives, give up their dreams, to protect their siblings. In fact, hardly any would. Sam owed Dean _everything_. Twenty-two years of unconditional love, support, comfort, and guidance. Anything he wanted, he only needed to ask and Dean would hand it over.

Sam scraped his way along the mud as he stood up. He was filled to the brim with love and appreciation for his brother. And as he stood there watching Dean throw down the end of a rope, he realized that his biggest challenge now lie in front of him. Somehow, Dean had to be thanked…whether he liked it or not.

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_Are you interested at all? Please review and let me know..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Wow! I can't believe how many reviews I got for that first chapter! Thanks!!! I feel so much pressure now to write a good story! I hope I don't crap out on ya'll. If you can make it through the two middle chapters (which is primarily hurt!Samness), I think the ending should be pretty good. And if you like hurt!Dean- there'll be some there._

_Oh! And just as a __warning: in true Kyriebess fashion (apparently) this chapter's a bit gross (nowhere near as gross as some other things I've written though)…_

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**Blind, But Now I See: Chapter 1-**

Sam concentrated on his breathing as he scaled his way up the rope. He was sweating and freezing and the pain in his arm had him struggling for each breath. Dean had the rope wrapped around a large tree, so it wasn't going anywhere, but climbing a rope using only your feet and one hand was not an easy task. Thankfully, it was only twenty feet. Any longer and he'd be Danny's companion for eternity.

Sam continued to climb his way to safety, extending all his willpower to subdue the shaking in his arms and legs. The cold that had seeped into his bones was painful now. It radiated through his chest and back causing his jaw and lungs to ache. Another upward pull and Sam felt the strain in his abdominal muscles travel inward filling him with nausea. Fortunately, it seemed he had made it to the top, for on his next pull up, Sam felt the rope curve to the side, along the top of the embankment. And suddenly, there were hands under his armpits, pulling him over the lip of the cliff and onto the land.

The scent of grass filled his nostrils as he sprawled face down on the ground, breathing heavily. Around him he heard Dean moving about, most likely packing up the rope and giving Sam time to catch his breath. He was shaking, from the cold and the exertion, his muscles trembling from being forced to perform and save his life. Gradually, Sam felt himself begin to relax, watching the blades of grass blow in the wind created by his open mouth. It was so much nicer to be lying down rather than climbing a rope one handed.

An ant crawled its way over the waving grass seemingly headed toward Sam's mouth. Unhappy with that prospect, Sam forced his body to move once more until he was no longer lying, but now crouched in a kneeling position. Lifting his head, Sam looked at his brother. As he had suspected, Dean had unraveled the rope from the tree and was now rolling it up around his arm.

Watching his brother work reminded Sam of his new mission. Dean had come back for him- and he _should _be thanked for it. Because it really wasn't fair just to expect it, even though Dean was reliable enough that he could.

As Dean finished winding the last of the rope, Sam crawled over to the edge of the cliff and looked down. Almost immediately he spotted Danny's spirit looking up at the top. The boy smiled and waved, bouncing on the toes of his feet as he saw Sam.

"Is Drew there too? Sam, do you see him up there? Tell him I'm here."

Sam's arms shook with emotion and tears re-entered his eyes. Casually he looked around as though looking for someone and then looked back down to the boy and shook his head. Immediately the ghost's face fell and Sam could've sworn he saw tears in the spirit's eyes. But Danny seemed to pull himself together rather quickly, replacing his crestfallen expression with one of determination. "He'll be back. He promised. I just have to be patient and wait." Then the boy moved back to his remains and sat, looking out onto the water.

Unable to do anything for the boy at the moment, Sam pushed himself away from the cliff and sat facing his brother with his knees to his chest. Dean looked down at him. "Sorry it took me so long. I didn't have your 'map' and the tree markings we left freakin' sucked. It took me an hour and a half to get to the freakin' car."

Normally that statement would've led Sam directly into a 'so you admit the map was helpful then' comment. Especially considering the amount of grief Dean had given him earlier when he was drawing it. But right now, Sam was just so grateful that Dean cared enough to come back at all.

His eyes filled with sincerity and love, Sam expressed his appreciation. "Thanks Dean…for coming back for me."

Immediately, Dean's face morphed into a mixture of suspicion and concern. "Dude, what the hell are you talking about?"

Sam forced himself to shakily stand up as he tried to explain his gratitude. "You didn't have to come back. I just…thanks, man."

Concern slowly began to overtake the suspicion in Dean's expression. For a moment he only stood, staring at Sam, trying to find something other than sincerity in his brother's comments. Upon not finding anything, Dean moved onto a new explanation for his brother's behavior. "Did you hit your head when you fell?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Can't I just be grateful? Does that have to mean there's something wrong with me? Can't I just thank you, instead of acting like, 'of course you'd come back for me'—"

Dean shook his head and held up his hands to interrupt his brother. "—Of course I'd come back for you." Dean's suddenly looked insulted and offended, "What? Did you think I'd just leave you there?"

Sam shook his head. "No. I knew you'd come back, I'm just…not everyone would, Dean. I'm grateful you're my brother. I love you, man."

"Whoa! Sam, what're you doin'?" Dean's eyes widened in alarm.

Sam exhaled in exasperation and threw up his good arm. "I'm being honest with you. I want you to know. Dean, we deal with a lot of shit everyday, okay? I—"

Dean waved his hands through the air in a scissoring motion as he cut his brother off. "Dude! Stop! Yeah, we deal with shit and yeah we're risking our lives, but that doesn't mean you have to…to…" Dean waved his arm uncomfortably in his brother's direction, "…you know."

Looking down at the floor, Sam gave a quick nod and turned to start walking toward the car. Behind him he heard Dean wait a few moments and then begin walking as well.

So much for thanking Dean. Sam pulled his coat up as he shivered. All thanking Dean seemed to do was scare the crap out of him and make him thoroughly uncomfortable. Not that Sam really would've expected any less, 'I love you' conversations were pretty much the bane of Dean's existence. But after talking to Danny, he really just wanted Dean to know that he knew how much Dean had given up for him, how much Dean would always be there for him, and how much he was grateful for it. In fact, 'grateful' didn't even seem like it encompassed the power of the emotion he was feeling. It filled him from the core of his soul to the brim of his body. He just wanted Dean to know…wanted Dean to feel thanked, to feel appreciated, to feel how grateful Sam was to be his brother. But clearly, getting that across to Dean was not going to be easy. Sam pulled on his coat again. Danny was right, feeling the cold in your bones hurt like hell.

"You cold?"

Startled, Sam looked up to find his brother walking next to him. Briefly he looked behind him, when had Dean caught up?

"Sam,…" Sam turned his attention back to his brother. "…you shivering?"

He didn't need to respond; the answer was obvious as a chill ripped through his body. Dean shrugged off his jacket and handed it over. Sam stopped walking.

"Dean, youneed it."

Dean shook his head. "Nah. Look at me, man, I'm sweating. I just went on a two hour run." Again Dean pushed the jacket towards his brother.

Sam stepped back, away from the offered clothing. Yet another example of Dean's consistent support. Danny had said that Drew would lend him his jacket if he asked. Well, that was debatable, but either way, Sam didn't even need to ask- the need was seen and without a second thought the jacket was handed over. Sam felt like crap. It seemed that Dean was there for him literally _every _time he needed him. How could he ever repay his brother?

A sudden thought came to mind as Dean pushed his jacket into Sam's hands, forcing him to take it with a command, "Dude, stop staring like I've got cooties and put the damn thing on. You're freezing."

Sam smirked, "Cooties?"

Dean was not amused. Using his 'older brother, I know what's best, don't mess with me' voice, he barked out a directive. "Sam, now."

Responding to the tone, Sam carefully took off his own jacket and put Dean's on. Then, coming up with a new plan, he held out _his _jacket for his brother.

Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Dude, what the hell are you doing?"

Sam explained. "Your jacket's warmer, so I put it on- as you commanded- but _you're_ gonna freeze. So, I'll take yours and you take my lighter one."

For a long moment Dean stared at the offered jacket with an expressionless look. Then, with a look of confident suspicion, Dean looked up, seemingly investigating his brother's face.

Sam shook the jacket. "Dean it's freezing out here. Take it."

Ignoring the jacket, Dean moved up to his brother and put one hand on either side of Sam's face. Startled, Sam tried to step back, but he was held in place. Dean's hands then moved to Sam's neck, and then finally to Sam's outstretched hand. Sam squirmed uncomfortably, maybe Dean really _didn't_ need the jacket- his hands were burning hot.

Pulling up Sam's sleeve, Dean held his brother's wrist, counting as he looked at his watch. Rolling his eyes, Sam questioned his brother. "Dean, what're you doing?"

Dean ignored him as he continued to count in his head. Finally, he released Sam's wrist and looked around. "Sam, let me see your arm."

Sam shook his head, confused. "What?" How had Dean gone from begrudgingly receiving a jacket to, 'let me see your arm'?

Without waiting for Sam's help, Dean lifted his brother's arm, pushed up the jacket, and rolled up his sleeve. Sam winced at the motion and the sight. His wrist was swollen to about four times its normal size. Although their only light was moonlight, they could clearly see that the skin covering the swollen area was shiny, and purple. Small blisters of blood were appearing on the surface of the skin. As Dean examined the injury, Sam realized that he had lost feeling to part of his hand since he couldn't feel Dean touching it. With an injury like his, loss of feeling in the broken limb wasn't uncommon, but it still was a bit unnerving. At least it wasn't his right wrist this time.

When Dean had finished his examination, he carefully rolled down his brother's sleeve and jacket, and stepped back. "You're in shock."

Sam squinted his eyes, puzzled. "What? It's a bad break, I know that, but I don't—"

Dean cut him off. "Your skin's freezing cold, your behavior's off, your pulse is 130…it's not just the break, man. You're body's going into shock. We need to get you to a hospital."

Sam argued. "I don't think so, Dean, I'm not dizzy; I don't feel like I'm drunk. Yeah, I'm cold, but I just spent two hours down by the river and my pulse is high because I just climbed twenty feet up a rope using one hand…and my behavior's not off."

Dean snorted. "Right. 'Cause it's everyday that you're announcing how much you love me and giving me your jacket when _you're_ the one who's freezing."

Sam stepped back, upset. "Dean, I explained the jacket thing. And what the hell, man? Just 'cause I said 'I love you' that doesn't mean I'm going into shock."

Dean, obviously frustrated, rolled his eyes. "Sam—"

Now annoyed, Sam continued. "You think that's the only reason I would say that? I _meant_ it!"

Dean put up his hands in a soothing manner. "Alright, alright, calm down."

But Sam shook his head, meeting his brother's eyes. "Do you really not believe me? Do you really think I only said that because you think I'm in shock?"

Dean took a calming breath. "Sam, you _are_ in shock."

Sam moved to argue again, but Dean stopped him. "Hey, hey…I'm not saying you didn't mean it, all right? I'm sure you did dude, but less face it, it's not something you'd normally say."

Dean was right, and Sam couldn't help feeling guilty. Based on his past actions, it hadn't always been clear how he felt about Dean. He should've made it clear all along. "Maybe it should be."

Now appearing annoyed, Dean stuck out his lower jaw and looked to the side. "Sam- I'm not gonna have this argument with you. You need to be in a hospital. Let's go."

Sam watched as Dean turned and resumed walking toward the car. With a sigh, Sam put his jacket on his shoulders and followed his brother. "I met Danny."

Still walking, Dean looked back, confused. "What?"

Sam walked faster to catch up and then, once he was along side his brother, he explained. "Danny Collins. I met him."

Dean's confusion grew into concern. "Sam, Danny's been missing for 24 years…"

Sam stared his brother down, waiting for Dean to catch on. When Dean stared back with raised brows, oblivious to Sam's thoughts, Sam stated the obvious. "Ghost?"

"Oh."

Sam continued, "He and I did the same thing. The druggies were chasing him and he ran off the embankment and broke his leg."

Dean made a face. "And he died there? That sucks."

Sam nodded. "Five days later."

Dean took in a breath. "Dude, he laid there for five days, dying? Damn." Then he turned to Sam worried, "Did he attack you?"

Sam shook his head. "No. He just talked to me. Actually, it was a nice conversation."

Dean raised his eyebrows, impressed. "Well, what'd he say?"

Sam looked at the ground as he walked, a sad look returning to his face. "He wasn't alone when he went over the cliff."

"The druggies saw it." Dean stated matter-of-factly.

"No. Drew."

Dean stopped walking. "Drew? What do you mean, Drew?"

Sam raised his sad eyes to his brother's. "You know what I mean, Dean."

Dean stared for a moment before taking a step back. "So wait…so you're saying…no, no way, dude."

Sam nodded and Dean shook his head in denial. "No, man. That doesn't make sense. If Drew was with him, he would've gotten help."

Sam bit his lip. "No, _you_ would've gotten help."

Dean still seemed confused, unaccepting of the obvious conclusion. "So you're saying Drew left him to die? Drew was his brother, why would he just leave him there?"

Sam tried again. "Because not everybody's you, Dean."

Dean squinted his eyes in anger. "This isn't about me, Sam. _Most_ people wouldn't leave their brother there. Maybe the ghost was confused…maybe his memories got warped when he died. It wouldn't be the first time it happened."

Sam looked down. "He was really clear about it, Dean. I don't think he imagined it." Dean was silent as he began to accept the implications of the information and Sam continued. "You should've heard him, man. Drew could do no wrong in Danny's eyes. According to Danny, Drew was perfect. And he promised Danny he'd be back with help. He's still waiting. Dean…he doesn't even question it. It was like listening to myself talk about you…" Sam let out a humorless laugh, "…only you actually did come back for me."

Taking a breath, Dean stepped back, nodding in understanding. "So that's what that was about."

Sam nodded.

Dean walked toward his brother. "Look, Sam, what Drew did to Danny- that's…unforgivable…I mean, that's just…" Dean shook his head as he composed himself before continuing, "…but you don't need to get all sharing and caring with me. I know. Okay, man. I know. You don't need to say it. If I was down there instead of you, would you have come back for me?"

Sam looked up startled. "Yeah- of cou…Dean, you know I would."

Dean nodded. "And I wouldn't expect any less from you. Would you want to be thanked for it?"

Sam shook his head. "No, but Dean, Danny expected it too. He still does. He's still waiting there for Drew to come get him."

Dean sucked in his lips and raised his brows. "Fine, and if I ever see Drew again…on behalf of all older brothers everywhere…I'll make sure he's pissing blood for a month. But the fact that he's screwed up doesn't have anything to do with us."

Sam disagreed. "It was luck, man. I could've just as easily gotten Drew for a brother."

Dean balled a fist. "No, because if anyone ever treated you like that, I'd kick their ass."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dean. If Drew was my brother, you wouldn't even know me."

Dean pushed his brother forward as he resumed walking. "I'd always know you, Sam."

Sam took a breath. "Dean, I'm being serious."

Dean continued walking forward, parallel to his brother. "So am I. Now shut the hell up."

Giving up the discussion, Sam did as he was told and watched the ground below him as he walked. It was a relief to know that Dean knew that Sam cared, despite some poor decisions on his part in the past, but Sam still felt indebted to his brother. Dean had raised him, saved him…how do you thank someone for that?

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It was an hour later when the top of his right foot hit the back of his left, sending Sam falling forward. Automatically, both hands flew out, cushioning the rest of his body from the impact of the ground. Unfortunately, his _arm_ was what really needed to be protected. His left arm hit the ground sending a blinding explosion of sharp freezing pain up his arm, through his shoulder, and into the rest of his body.

Upon colliding with the ground, Sam sucked in an agonizing breath, all his muscles trembling as the agonizing pain made its way around the front of his shoulder and into his chest. Sam held the breath in his chest, fearful that breathing would only add to the pain. The nausea that he had been fighting off all night came back in full force and suddenly Sam felt the vomit force its way out between his clenched teeth and up his nose. It was at this time that his body realized that it should be breathing and instead, ended up choking on the former contents of its stomach.

Whether his eyes were closed or not, Sam couldn't tell, but either way, his vision was black. It seemed that all of his senses, sight, sound, taste, smell, were all non-existent, the pain had overtaken all process in his brain. Overall, Sam could feel himself shaking, each muscle tightening in small spasms. He could feel the vomit cooling on his chin and upper lip, but was unable to wipe it off. He was unable to do anything really, other than choke and try to resist movement.

Suddenly a hand was on his back, making itself known through Sam's sore skin. Of course it was Dean and Sam hoped to God that Dean could help him because he, right now, couldn't do a damn thing. The hand hit his back hard and Sam felt himself cough harder, his lungs and nose expelling the remainder of the hamburger/acid. Just when he finally felt like he could breathe without coughing, his sense of smell returned and Sam found himself heaving for a second time. The hand on his back was rubbing in small circles now and while he appreciated the thought, the skin on his back was so sensitive that the comforting movement was painful. With a moan, Sam shrugged away from his brother, spitting the remaining vomit out of his mouth. Dean understood immediately and Sam sighed in relief as the hand moved off.

Lifting his shaking right hand, Sam clumsily wiped the liquid off his chin, mouth, and nose before smearing it on the grass and his jeans. The sharp pain in his left hand was now a burning hot ache and Sam could feel his pulse throb under his skin. The outside of his arm was beginning to cool and he was pretty sure that there must have been some fluid on it, most likely blood.

His vision was still black and his muscles still shook and slowly Sam felt himself tilting towards the side, aiming to lie down in the grass. Before he could make it though, a set of strong arms stopped him, catching him and lifting him back into a sitting position. Sam gasped and coughed in response to the pain the arms caused as they made contact with his overly sensitive skin. Briefly Sam tried to worm his way out of the arms and in response, Dean loosened his hold, but didn't let go.

"Easy Sam; just breathe through it." Sam felt the instruction whispered in his ear and he immediately complied, falling back against his brother. It hurt, but he could breathe through it here; he was safe.

Seemingly realizing that Sam wasn't going to fight him anymore, Dean dropped his arms, serving now only as a warm backrest as Sam tried to pull himself together. The pain was receding along with the nausea and gradually the darkness that had covered his vision began to fade. So, his eyes _were_ open then… The trembling in his muscles slowly diminished, a wave of relaxation flowing over his body. His breathing was steadier now, although still quite heavy, and the nausea seemed to pull itself out of his esophagus and back into his stomach.

Looking down, Sam watched as Dean's hand came from behind him and very tenderly lifted the broken arm. Immediately Sam tensed in reaction, his right hand gripping its way into the dirt.

"I need to look at it, dude. Just focus on breathing."

Closing his eyes, Sam did as his brother suggested, trying to ignore the agony as Dean reached over him with his other hand. A tear escaped his eye and Sam whimpered as Dean struggled to pull the material over his wrist.

With a hiss of sympathy, Dean ceased his actions, and lowered his brother's arm. "You think you can sit up yourself?"

His eyes still closed, Sam swallowed and nodded as he tried to sit up. The use of his abdominal muscles brought the nausea back and his muscles began trembling again in preparation for another puke-fest. But the feeling seemed to pass quickly this time and although he was now gasping, Sam found that he could open his eyes.

Dean was now crouched in front of him, dangerously close to the acid soaked grass, with a concerned look on his face. Pulling out a knife, he put a hand around Sam's broken arm to hold it steady.

Sam tried to speak through the deep gasps. "What're you…doing?"

Dean briefly looked up before returning his attention to the knife at his brother's arm. "Your arm's too swollen. I have to cut the sleeves off."

Sam shook his head. "Dean, this is…your leather…jacket."

Dean nodded and carefully slipped the knife under the material, slicing upward. "I know. You owe me a new one."

Sam agreed and watched with intermittent pain as Dean cut through the two sleeves, releasing Sam's swollen arm.

It was bad. He knew it was bad. He had felt it was bad. He had seen it after he fell off the cliff. But this was _bad_. From the elbow to his fingers, the arm was purple and the skin was stretched as far as it could go. It he wasn't staring at it himself, Sam wouldn't have believed that his arm could ever be that size- because currently, it was larger than his calf. Blood was literally oozing _through_ his skin, evidently having no other way out of the arm. One look at Dean and Sam knew what his brother thought as well.

Dean rubbed a hand over the rough stubble on his face. "Shit, Sammy."

"I'm gonna lose it, aren't I?"

Dean looked up, with a serious expression. Without responding, he put his hands under Sam's armpits and began to lift him into a standing position. The lack of response solidified it: there was no question Dean thought he would lose the arm.

Once he was standing, the world began to sway and Dean accepted most of his weight with a grunt as Sam's knees buckled. "Come on, Sam. We're almost at the car."

Swallowing another uprising in his stomach, Sam forced himself to breathe and take back some of his weight. Sam laughed at his thoughts as Dean moved to his side, throwing an arm over his shoulder. "I think you were right about the shock."

Dean paused in his movements to shoot his brother a disbelieving glance. "Thanks for the confirmation, man, but I wasn't really doubting myself on that one."

Sam shook his head as they slowly moved forward. "I thought I felt okay."

This time Dean laughed. "Yeah, well, if you were in your right mind and heard yourself, you would've known you weren't okay."

Sam became upset, his eyes watering. "I wasn't crazy, Dean. I meant what I said."

Dean squinted his eyes. "Do me a favor, dude, lose the estrogen and try to focus on not puking all over me."

With a sigh, Sam did as requested. Sam had tried to tell Dean that he loved him, and now Dean thought it was just the shock talking…sure, if he's crazy and he says, "I hate you," Dean believes him. He's crazy and says, "I love you" and Dean thinks it's just the craziness talking. Sam shook his head through the pain. How had it ended up like this?

* * *

_Keep in mind that this is all Sam POV- Dean's got some things to say in the next chapter that may give you an insight as to what he's thinking as oppose to what Sam thinks he's thinking…_


	3. Chapter 3

_Once again, thank you all SO much for your reviews, feedback, and support! I appreciate it so much. I'm thrilled to know that you're enjoying this._

_I'm in the process of writing the fourth chapter now, but I'm finding that there's a lot of unfinished business that I need to get through- so this may have a fifth chapter…or maybe it won't._

_And there's a few lines in this that I think grossed me out more than anything I've ever written, which is bizarre. But now you all know what skeeves me. Oh! And you can thank the TV show, "I shouldn't Be Alive" for the details of Sam's injury._

* * *

**Blind, But Now I See: Chapter 3-**

Sam looked around as he rested on a gurney in the emergency room of a local hospital. He was in an area partitioned by curtains with Dean at his side. One of the curtains was pulled opened.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Thomas Hawthorne." The man in the white coat stretched out his hand and both brothers took turns shaking it. The doctor was young looking, although he was going gray, and had a confident air about him. He looked down and began gently examining Sam's arm. Sam winced and Dean moved closer, keeping an eye on the doctor's actions.

The Dr. Hawthorne glanced up at Dean with an amused look before turning back to Sam and shrugging in Dean's direction. "Bodyguard?"

Sam smiled despite the pain and nausea. "Older brother."

The doctor looked up somewhat surprised and Dean growled something under his breath. The doc spoke. "You don't see too many siblings spending time together at your ages. Most people are too involved with starting their own lives."

"How bad's the arm?" Apparently Dean wasn't interested in Dr. Hawthorne's musings on sibling relationships.

The man's expression turned grim and Sam fisted his hand into the other sheet in anticipation of the bad news. "All right, no small talk then. Sam? Do you remember what the position of your arm was when you landed on it?"

Sam grimaced and nodded. "Uh…my wrist hit first; my arm was kind of facing down."

The doctor bit his lip and took a breath. "That's what it looked like in the x-rays. Um…" Dr. Hawthorne gave a humorless laugh, "…this explanation isn't going to be pleasant."

Both brothers braced themselves, giving the doctor their full attention. An x-ray was illuminated showing the bone in Sam's arm. The bone in the x-ray was literally in pieces, shards, over thirty of them. There didn't seem to be a _bone_ in Sam's arm any more, only bone fragments.

Upon seeing the x-ray, Sam sucked in a breath. "Oh my God." Next to him, he heard his brother gasp, "Holy shit."

Sam turned his wide eyes to the doctor. "There's no way to save it, is there?"

Before the doctor could respond, Dean threw in his own question. "Doc, how bad is this situation right now? I mean, he seems somewhat coherent…how bad is this?"

Dr. Hawthorne held up his hands, silently asking the brothers to calm down. "It's a bad break, no doubt about it. It pretty much doesn't get any worse than this. Normally when an arm is broken, the person falls on the arm horizontally, causing a horizontal break. You fell on it vertically, and as you mentioned, it was a long fall. In that case, the bone shattered vertically up the arm and then splintered, 'causing what you see here, which is primarily a shattered bone."

Sam laid his head back against the gurney and closed his eyes. The situation had completely overwhelmed him, and he was exhausted. He knew he should pay closer attention to the rest of what the doctor had to say, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to know. Instead, he opted to concentrate on his breathing, which was once again becoming difficult. Through his breaths, he felt Dean's thumb begin to rub small circles on the front of his shoulder. He knew his brother meant well, but once again, his body was too sensitive. Sam made a slight move away from Dean's hand. "Stop."

Immediately Dean stopped and when Sam blearily opened his eyes, the doctor resumed talking. "As you are both aware, Sam, you're body has gone into shock, which is a normal reaction to this kind of injury and I would agree with your brother that considering the circumstances, you're quite coherent. I'd like to begin surgery immediately and try to see if we can save the arm. It looks bad, but we've worked with similar injuries before. You'll definitely need a bone graft and given the trauma to your body, we'd probably opt for an artificial graft rather than removing a piece of bone from your hip."

Overwhelmed and in pain, Sam couldn't speak. Dean spoke for him. "You sound confident."

The doctor shrugged. "It's about 50/50. Although, there's a good chance that if we can save it, there will be nerve damage. He may not have full function or feeling."

Before Sam could process the implications of never fully using his arm again, he was distracted by his brother's nod. Dean had a serious look on his face. "He'll live though?"

Sam was taken aback by the question. _His_ main concern had been saving the arm, but apparently Dean hadn't even been sure that Sam would live. Suddenly Sam remembered his conversation with Danny. Danny had said that he knew Sam was dying. Sam took a breath, apparently, he had been the only one unaware of the fact that death was a real possibility. Sam looked over at his brother. At least if he died in surgery, he wouldn't be dying alone; there'd be people around…and he wouldn't have been betrayed and abandoned by the person he looked up to the most… Sam shook his head, he owed somebody something for giving him Dean and not Drew. He couldn't imagine dying alone.

Dr. Hawthorne looked dour as he answered Dean's question. "He's still conscious, he's healthy and in good shape. Given his injury, he's doing extremely well so far, but I can't make any guarantees. He'll be going into emergency surgery and his body's already in shock. Those aren't the best circumstances. However, that being said, I am fairly confident of survival."

Well, that was candid. Sam laughed and rolled his eyes. "Great. That's real reassuring."

Dean didn't crack a smile. "There's no choice?"

The doctor opened the door, allowing the nurse to enter before answering Dean's statement. "No, the only choice is amputation or for me to try to save it, but I had assumed you'd want to try for the arm."

Both brothers nodded and Sam watched as the nurse handed him a pen and paper. "Permission forms."

Sam nodded and signed them. The nurse left and almost immediately another doctor walked in, holding a small bottle and a packaged syringe. He addressed Sam as he filled the syringe with the bottle's contents. "I'm Dr. Chan; I'll be your anesthesiologist. Dr. Hawthorne and I have already discussed your case and I've read your reported medical history. You have no known allergies correct?"

Sam nodded and Dr. Chan continued. "I'm going to inject a muscle relaxant into your IV. It will take about five minutes to diffuse into your system." The doctor injected the medicine into the IV. "Some patients note a warm feeling passing through their body, this is entirely normal. Over the next five minutes, you should begin to feel more relaxed. It may become harder to think, speech will be difficult. If you feel tired, you can sleep. After the relaxant has taken full effect, I'll come back in and administer the general anesthesia which will knock you out." Sam watched, feeling the warmth flow through his body, as the doctor turned to his brother. "You can stay with him for the next five minutes, then you'll have to leave. You can wait in the waiting room, or go and come back. The surgery will probably take about 4 hours provided there are no complications."

Dean nodded and pulled a chair up to his brother's bedside as the doctors left. "Are you tingly yet?"

Sam smiled. The medicine was working faster than he thought. He felt very relaxed and although his arm still hurt, the pain was considerably less than before. He answered his brother, "A little bit. What're you going to do while I'm getting artificial bones put in me?"

Dean shrugged. "Dunno. I saw a hot redheaded nurse over at the front desk. Maybe I can convince her to comfort me while I wait."

A new feeling of warmth washed over him and Sam closed his eyes. "You shhhould see if you hcan talk to Drew."

"Dude, Drew's office is thirty minute from here. Besides, who knows what time they open."

Sam cracked open his eyes. He was _very_ relaxed now and his voice had dropped down to a whisper. "7:30, it said on the sign…you don't pay attention."

Dean smirked and leaned forward, presumably to be able to hear better. "Yeah, insult me now when you know I won't get you back."

Sam closed his eyes and smiled. "Don't 'member it ever sopping you b'fore."

He felt Dean tap his arm and stand up. "Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Sam forced his eyes open. "Dean."

Dean looked over from where he was collecting Sam's clothes and Sam continued, "You hhhate waiting anyway. Danny's shoe needs t'be resolved."

Dean gave his brother an amused look before shaking his head. "Danny's _shoe_ can wait."

Sam closed his eyes briefly in frustration. He had barely any energy anymore. "Dean─"

Dean cut him off, "Come on, man. I don't want to argue with you. You're going into surgery."

Sam closed his eyes and nodded. "Dean, ifff I don't─"

Dean interrupted again, this time with anger. "Hey! Shut the hell up. I'll see you in four hours."

Sam opened his eyes once more and smiled. "I meant what I sssaid out 'ere wiout shhhhock."

Sam saw his brother swallow hard, a distressed look on his face. Then Dean approached the bed. "I know you're out of it, dude, but I want you to hear me…"

Sam gathered all his energy and strength to focus on his brother and Dean continued. "I _want_ you to expect me to be there- anytime you need me. _Anytime_, Sam, no matter _wha_t it is or what's between us- I will be there. And don't you EVER thank me for that. We're even. I play my part and you play yours and it evens out. I've got your back and you've got mine. This isn't a one sided thing. I owe you too."

Sam heard his brother's words and absorbed them, despite the relaxant. He was sure Dean would never had said those things if he thought Sam was really listening and Sam hoped to God that he could remember the conversation after he woke from his surgery. Although, Sam really couldn't figure out what Dean owed _him_ for.

Dean moved to walk out the door, but then stopped and turned back to Sam smirking. "Stay away from the light Carolanne…"

Sam grinned, lifted his good hand in an obscene gesture, and closed his eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Sam stared at his face in the mirror. God, he was ugly. Not only did he still have all his baby fat, but now he was also covered in zits. And when the hell did his nose get so freakin' big? Being twelve sucked. With a sigh, Sam moved to start popping some of the more 'ripe' pimples. Putting his thumb and pointer finger around a particularly large, white headed one, Sam began to squeeze._

"_Dude, that shit sprays on the mirror- you're takin' bathroom duty and cleanin' it yourself."_

_Startled, Sam dropped the pulsing pimple and looked up into the mirror to see his brother hanging half way in the door. Grabbing the nearby face towel, Sam turned, flinging the towel at his brother. "Dean! Get out!"_

_Dean caught the towel easily with a laugh. "Chill, dude. I just had a question to ask ya."_

_Sam crossed his arms over his bare chest. "Does the word 'knock' mean anything to you?"_

_Dean shrugged, "Only if it's followed by 'ers'…"_

_Sam growled and Dean laughed as he asked his brother the question. "Listen, what are you up to today?"_

_Sam sighed and leaned on the sink. "Well, some kids at school said the state fair's today. It's over on County Road 5. Some of my friends are going…" Sam waited to see what his brother would say. _

_Their dad was out on a hunt, left Friday night and wouldn't be back until Monday, which meant that he and Dean were on their own for the weekend. The state fair seemed like fun and Sam wanted to go, but this town was apparently supernaturally dangerous and dad's orders had been clear when he left- 'Dean, watch your brother. I don't want him on his own in this town.' The order was for Dean, Dean was the one who would be held responsible for making sure it was carried out, but Sam wasn't an ass- he'd make sure he stayed with Dean too. It was a mutual agreement between the two of them. Sam didn't want Dean to get into trouble and Dean didn't want something to happen to Sam- so they stayed together. And the truth was, Sam would love it if Dean would go to the fair with him- regardless of dad's orders._

_Dean leaned up against the doorjam, apparently considering what Sam had said. Then he bit his lip. "Royce, Reid, and Cody are going to see the new John Carpenter flick…"_

_And there it was- both brothers wanting to do different things, both knowing they had to stay together, and both unwilling to ask the other to sacrifice. Sam's mind immediately began running through the possible compromises. "You think they'd want to go to the fair?"_

_Dean snorted. "Unlikely. Is your fair thing on Sunday too?"_

_Sam shrugged. "I don't know. Everyone said they were going today. They said all the animal contests were today. Oh! And there's a pie eating contest too!"_

_Dean raised his brows at Sam's excitement. "You plannin' on entering?"_

_Sam squinted his eyes at his brother's implication. "I'm not fat. I'm just big boned."_

_Dean laughed. "And a girl apparently…"_

_Sam didn't get it and Dean shook his head. "Look Sam, they're cool guys and they've already let me in as one of the pack…"_

_Sam sighed and wilted against the sink considering it. He wanted to go to the fair, but going to a movie with his brother could be okay too. Besides, it was kind of fun spending time with Dean and his friends- made him feel cool- not everyone his age got included with 16 year olds. Sam conceded. "Fine. But after the movie, can we at least ask them if they want to go to the fair?"_

_Dean didn't look thrilled, but nodded anyway. "Thanks Sammy."_

_Sam glared. "Sam…"_

_Dean rolled his eyes. "No, see, when someone says 'thank you,' you're supposed to say 'you're welcome'- not your own name."_

_Sam growled again and Dean smiled as he went to close the door. "By the way, there's about ten more on your back that look like they're ready to pop…"_

_"Get out!" Sam grabbed another towel and threw it at his brother. It hit the back of the door as it closed._

----------------------------------------

Sam woke slowly. There was an excruciating pain in his arm, which was currently serving to dull the throbbing in his head. He tried to look around, but there was only darkness. His throat was dry. Why did his arm hurt so badly?

With a soft moan, Sam forced his eyelids to open. Whatever he was looking at, it was white…and blurry. Where the hell was he? Was he in danger? Was he safe? What the hell was going on?

Taking a deep breath, Sam slowly turned his head. Everything was still blurry, but now he could hear voices. He didn't know what they were saying, but one was definitely Dean's. He'd recognize his brother's resonant tone anywhere. Dean didn't sound too upset, so wherever he was, he must be safe.

Sam blinked and looked around again. The blur started to dissipate and he began to remember. He was in the hospital; he was having surgery on his arm. Had they saved it?

Sam winced as his tongue unstuck itself from the roof of his dry mouth. Suddenly Dean's face was grinning in his vision- Dean must have been in the same room with him then…

"Hey man, how you feel?"

Sam closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the pain. He felt like shit. Too bad his mouth didn't work well enough to tell Dean that…

Sam felt movement to his right and he once again opened his eyes. The doctor, his surgeon, was injecting something into the IV. He looked down as Sam blinked at him. "Fentanyl. It's 100 times more potent than morphine, with less side effects. You should be flying high in about 30 seconds."

Given the amount of pain in his arm, Sam found it hard to belie- "Whoa."

Dean laughed. "That good, huh?"

Sam blinked, trying to right his eyes and keep them from rolling back into his head. The world shifted around him. Where was he again?

"How you feelin' there, Sammy?"

Sam swung his eyes to his brother. The edge of Dean's silhouette seemed to replicate itself three times, making it look as though he was radiating energy. Sam smiled at him. "You're glowing."

Dean bit his lip, obviously trying to hold back the laughter. Sam smiled at his brother's happiness. He didn't know what was so funny, but if Dean was happy, he was glad.

Suddenly, Sam remembered his arm. Trying to see if it was still attached, he lifted his left arm. Immediately, Dean and the doctor rushed forward, gently pushing the arm back down. "Don't move your arm, Sam."

Sam looked over at the doctor. "I still have one?"

Now the doctor laughed. "Yeah- it's still there."

Sam sighed and closed his eyes. "Good." Then he opened them again with a start. "Dean!"

Dean looked startled. "What?"

Sam's eyes were wide, his gaze rudely intense, his voice unnecessarily loud. "Did you talk to Drew?"

Dean shook his head. "No, I told you man, I wanted to be here. I'll go deal with that asshole after you're settled."

Sam looked over at Dr. Hawthorne. "I feel weird."

The doctor pursed his lips. "Weird how?"

Sam closed his eyes. "Sick but happy."

He heard laughter and then, "Do you feel nauseous?"

Sam shook his head, his heart beginning to pound as his breath grew short. He felt a hand on his right arm and he opened his eyes. The fear had come on almost instantly. The doctor was peering down at him, concerned. "Sam? Are you in pain?"

Pain? He was so far from pain- he couldn't even _remember _what pain felt like. Sam bit his lip. "I'm scared."

"Of what, dude?" This time it was Dean who leaned in.

Sam looked over at his brother and whispered. "The demon."

Dean crinkled his brow in distress and worry as he gripped Sam's shoulder. "Do you have a reason to think he's here?"

Sam was confused by the question and it obviously showed. Dean tried again. "Sam, what made you think of him?"

Sam closed his eyes. "I…I'm not okay…I don't want to be left alone."

Dean's voice returned, along with the sound of a chair grating across the floor. "You won't be."

Sam drifted into sleep.

----------------------------------

_Sam stared into his pizza slice, avoiding the stares of the five boys around him. Dean had just left for the bathroom and apparently, all of Dean's friends were waiting for this moment to say something to Sam._

"_How old are you again? Ten?"_

_Sam flicked his eyes briefly at Royce before returning to his pizza. "I'm twelve."_

"_So what'd ya think of 'Village of the Damned'?"_

_Sam put his pizza down and eyed the boys suspiciously, they were up to something… Not letting his guard down, Sam shrugged indifferently. "I thought it was kind of boring…and stupid." It was true- compared to the things he had seen in real life, that movie was just dumb._

_Reid laughed. "Sure you did…who you trying to kid, Sammy? We also saw you cringing in your seat. You practically had your eyes covered through the whole thing."_

_Sam straightened, now annoyed. "What?! I did not! That wasn't even scary! The only good thing about that movie was that it had Luke Skywalker and Superman in it."_

_A few of the boys laughed, but Royce's expression took on a sneer as he leaned in close to Sam. "You know how embarrassing it is to have to drag your little brother around?"_

_Sam's eyes darkened as he faced the bully. "You better shut your mouth before Dean hears you or he'll kick your ass."_

_Royce seemed to contemplate this and he backed up. "I'm just telling you the truth Sammy. Dean's not gonna say it… Besides, we're all going to Marcy Westfield's party tonight and there's no way he can show up with you. Why don't you do him a favor and make your own friends?"_

_Sam turned until he was fully facing his brother's 'friend'. "Look, if Dean wants to go to the party, then he'll go to the party-"_

_Cody cut him off. "And how's he supposed to do that with you tagging along? Yeah, that'll go over real well…I can see it now, 'Hey Lindsey, you don't mind if my little brother watches do you?'"_

_Reid went along with his friend's scenario. "Yeah, you know, she might like that, she always said she wanted to be a school teacher. She can teach Sammy here what boobs look like."_

"_She can teach him a hell of a lot more than that…"_

_Royce shook his head and moved in again. "Point is Sammy…Dean can get laid tonight, but it ain't gonna happen if you're sittin' around. You wanna be responsible for Dean being hard up?"_

_Sam felt himself shrinking back. No, he didn't want to be responsible for ruining Dean's good time, but he knew there was no way they could split up- not after dad's decree. "I'm not trying to ruin Dean's life- I'll sit in the car if he wants."_

_All of the guys stared as though Sam were crazy. Then Reid spoke up, "You're twelve, why don't you just stay at your apartment by yourself?"_

_Cody laughed. "No wonder Dean hasn't been able to get laid yet. How can he if his little brother follows him everywhere he goes?"_

_Sam squinted his eyes at his brother's 'friend'. Dean had 'gotten laid' plenty of times. Royce smiled at Sam's reaction. "Didn't know your brother was a virgin, did you?"_

_Alright, now he was pissed- nobody made up lies about Dean. Sam glared at the sixteen year old. "He's not."_

_All the boys at the table laughed and Cody spoke up. "Hey, can't say as I blame the guy for lying about it…he's got to try to make himself look normal somehow."_

_Sam felt his right hand clench in a fist as Reid nodded. "Dean is a bit of a freak. Did you guys get a look at the shit he draws in his notebook during his classes?"_

_Cody agreed. "Yeah…last week he was drawing this thing with extra long arms and claws and this weird head…looked like an alien. I asked him about it and he told me it was a 'Windigo'. Then he gets into this long story about flesh eating Native Americans…" Cody shook his head. "He's so freakin' weird."_

_Royce nodded. "Well, come on, what else do you expect him to do in class? It's not like he's smart enough to understand what the actual lessons are about."_

_The boys laughed again. They stopped when Sam's fist connected with Royce's jaw sending the teen flying backwards off of his chair._

_--------------------------------------------------_

_"Sammy? Sam, what the hell happened? Why're you crying? And what the hell is that smell?"_

_Sam pulled his head out of his knees and looked up at his brother. "Nothing. I'm fine. I know you want to go to Marcy's party- I can sit in the car, Dean."_

_Dean shook his head, clearly confused. "What? What the hell are you talking about?"_

_Sam brushed the tears off of his face. "Your friends said Marcy Westsomething was having a party and you could get laid by this girl Lindsey there."_

_Dean scrunched his nose and sat back. "Lindsey Harrison? Dude, I wouldn't touch that ass with a ten-foot pole. That girl's a walking STD."_

_Sam looked confused. "But they said you liked her…"_

_Dean shuddered. "No way in hell. Besides, I'm working my way up…and down…Kaitlyn Scott and there's no way I'll be able to get her if I screw Lindsey. And, dude, what the hell is this? Why the hell are you so upset? Why's your skin so hot? Sam, are you sick?"_

_Sam closed his eyes and shook his head. "They tried to convince me not to come with you to the party tonight, but I couldn't agree- I didn't want you to get in trouble with dad. But they wanted you to be able to have fun, and you wouldn't with me around-"_

"_Says who?"_

_Sam ignored his brother. "They um, well, I…uh…I told them I'd have to come, so they threw me in the dumpster and told you that I left."_

_Sam's statement was met with silence. Cautiously, he opened his eyes and found himself staring at Dean's emotionless face. After another minute of Dean's silent staring, Sam became unnerved. Did Dean know about the part that Sam wasn't telling him? "Dean?"_

_Dean sucked in his lips thoughtfully. "I knew you didn't leave on your own. I just thought something happened to you while I was in the john… I mean something did, but…"_

_Sam grew concerned; was Dean mad at him? "Dean?"_

_Dean looked up at his brother and nodded. Then he put his hands under Sam's arms and pulled him up. Sam questioned him, "Where're we going?"_

_Dean pulled him along as he answered. "First, we're going back to the pizzeria to get some ice to cool you off. Then, we're going home. You're gonna get cleaned up, and then I'm taking you to the fair."_

_Sam shook his head. "Your party…"_

_Dean looked down at him. "I never said I wanted to go, Sammy. Kaitlyn's not going to be there. Besides, we've spent the past three weekends doing what I want."_

_Sam shrugged as though that was obvious. "You're the one with the license; it's not like I have much of a choice. And I don't mind anyway, I like hanging out with you. You're cool."_

_Dean let out a lopsided grin. "Yeah… I am, aren't I?"_

_Sam rolled his eyes. "Not to mention arrogant."_

_Dean laughed and Sam became serious, kicking a rock in front of him. "I wish I could be like you- you wouldn't have gotten thrown in a dumpster, you would've been able to take 'em. It's not fair… You're great at everything. You can get any girl you want, you know everything about flirting and sex, you can rebuild an engine in under five minutes-"_

"_Three minutes…I can also get a girl to take her bra off in two…"_

_Sam threw his arms out as he continued, "See? You can shoot a two-inch target with a pistol from 100 yards; you're really funny…I'm all ugly and awkward. It sucks." Before Dean could respond, Sam continued. "You know Dean, it's never boring when you're around- all my friends are totally jealous, their brothers barely give them the time of day. And I know you only hang out with me because dad wants you to watch me-"_

"_That's not true, Sam-"_

"_But it's still fun for me, so I don't mind if I'm not with my friends…you're my best friend anyway…" Sam turned red, embarrassed- he hadn't meant to say that last part out loud. Quickly, he fumbled to cover it up. "Uh…I mean…"_

_Dean let him off the hook. "Yeah, alright dude, I think the heat's gone to your head. Let's get the ice and we'll see about this pie eating fair you wanted to go to."_

--------------------------------------------------------

Sam opened his eyes to see Dean lounging in a chair, reading a magazine, his feet up on Sam's bed. Evidently noticing Sam's stare, Dean lowered the magazine and his feet. "Hey."

Sam forced his dry throat to work. "Hey…" Sam winced as he swallowed. "…thanks for taking me to the Idaho State Fair."

Dean looked confused. "Oookay… The doc changed your pain meds- said the other one was making you hallucinate- apparently this shit's not much better."

Sam frowned, when had he been hallucinating? Before the operation? His arm hurt once again, although it wasn't nearly as bad as before surgery. "So he saved the arm?"

Dean leaned forward, putting his hand on Sam's shoulder in a comforting gesture. "We can work through this Sammy. You're right handed anyway…"

His eyes going wide, Sam stopped breathing and moved his right hand over to feel his left arm. Almost immediately, he felt the swollen, splinted fingers. Then, he glared at his now smirking brother. "That was low."

Dean held up a finger. "You mean funny."

Sam stuck out his lower jaw as he squinted his eyes. "That…you're a real asshole."

Dean merely snickered and Sam laid back, staring away from his brother.

"You should've seen your face…man…I should've taken a picture."

Looking up, Sam shook his head at the ceiling.

"Hey, you need anything? Water? More pain meds?"

Sam turned back to his brother. "Water?"

Dean nodded and poured some water out of a pitcher into a plastic cup. Then he moved over to Sam's bed. "You need to sit up. Wait! Got that covered…"

Sam watched as Dean reached over and pushed one of the buttons on the side of his bedrail- and suddenly, the head of the mattress was moving up. Dean was grinning like he had just found the coolest toy in the world. Sam rolled his eyes.

Finally, once Sam was partially sitting, Dean handed his brother the water. Sam took a few sips before questioning his sibling. "So, did you talk to Drew?"

Dean gave him an incredulous look. "I'm having Déjà vu. We had this conversation already."

Sam handed back the water. "Remind me…"

Dean sighed and sat back in his chair. "I haven't talked to Drew yet; I was waiting to make sure you were okay first."

Sam reached over and pushed the button to return his bed to the flat position. "Dean, Danny's waiting for him. We have to get him back there."

Dean ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know…I've been thinking Sam- what if Drew's still a…dude, there's not even a word for him… what if he hasn't changed? We'd just be exposing the ghost to the fact that he was purposely abandoned- could end up setting the kid off, turning him malevolent…I say, we just go back and finish him ourselves."

Sam closed his eyes. "Dean, I spent two hours with the kid, man…he didn't deserve what he got-"

Dean interrupted. "I'm not saying he did; I just think we should play it safe."

Sam shook his head. "He spent the last five days of his life in misery- the past twenty-four years abandoned and alone…what if, what if we burn 'im and he ends up alone for eternity?"

Dean leaned forward. "Sam, there's nothing to say that if we resolve his issue, which this is assuming that we even can, that Danny'll be able to move on."

Sam looked over, pleading. "It seemed to work for Molly… I just…it's just not fair, Dean."

Dean nodded. "Life's not fair- that's just the way it is."

Dean's statement was absolute and Sam stared at him with tears in his eyes. After a minute, Dean's gaze broke and he sighed, running a hand over his face. "Fine, I'll talk to Drew."

Sam met his brother's eyes. "Thanks."

Dean sent him back a look. "But dude, if I kill him, you have nobody to blame but yourself for sending me there."

Sam agreed. "Understood."

Dean snarled, looking annoyed. "You're a pain in my ass."

Sam smiled and closed his eyes. Before he could fall asleep, he heard Dean's voice. "Drew'll be getting out of work soon…you still need me here?"

Sam opened his eyes and shook his head. "I never needed you here. You were the one who insisted on staying."

For a moment Dean looked like he was ready to argue, but then his expression changed. "Right, I must've forgot."

Sam furrowed his brow in confusion and Dean rephrased his question. "So, you'll be okay here on your own?"

Sam stared at his brother as though he had sprouted another head. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Dean shook his head and mumbled under his breath, "Seriously a pain in my ass…"

Not understanding his brother, Sam once again closed his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

_I hope you're still with me. The next chapter will resolve most of the story (if not all). Please review and let me know what you think so far..._


	4. Chapter 4

_Okay, this will NOT be the last chapter. There's one more after this that will resolve all of the outstanding issues, of which there are a lot. This chapter just kind of ran away with me…_

_Thank you all once again SO much for your reviews! And I think some of you, who have been patiently waiting, will enjoy this chapter…_

* * *

**Blind, But Now I See: Chapter 4-**

Sam awoke again, although this time his mind was considerably clearer. His arm was quite painful and Sam figured that his pain medication had been changed again. Not that he minded; if the choice was his, he'd rather be able to think and feel some pain than the other way around. Briefly Sam looked around the dark room. Dean wasn't there and the lights were out. Sam fumbled around looking for a clock, but could find none. With a sigh, he pushed the switch, raising up his bed and then pushed the call button. Within two minutes, a nurse entered the room.

"Hi, you're awake…that's great, Dr. Hawthorne just came by to make his final rounds for the night. Did you need anything?"

Sam scratched the stubble on his chin…he needed a shave. "Uh, can you tell me what time it is?"

The nurse looked at her watch. "10 p.m."

Sam sat up with a start. 10 p.m.? Quickly, he stumbled over his words. "Has my brother been back? I mean, since this afternoon?"

The nurse backed away, looking regretful and somewhat intimidated. "I, um, I don't know. My shift just started. I could ask around…"

Sam held his response as Dr. Hawthorne entered the room. "Well, it's good to see you awake and sitting up."

The nurse made a hasty exit and Sam leaned back and rubbed his eyes. "Uh, hey doc." He lowered his hand as the doctor came around his left side to check his arm. "Do you know if Dean's been back since this afternoon?"

The doctor lifted his head from his examination appearing somewhat amused. "Separation anxiety?"

Sam squinted at the man. For a professional, he could certainly be inappropriate.

Noticing Sam's reaction, the physician tried to explain his comment. "He's spent a lot of time here. I'm used to seeing husbands and wives or parents and children waiting during and after a surgery- siblings don't usually wait, unless the entire family's waiting together." Sam's glare held and the man shrugged. "It's just unusual."

Sam shook his head, wondering what the doctor's problem was. That was the second time he had made a comment about being surprised at seeing two brothers who were close. Ignoring the man's oddity, Sam tried again. "So…do you know if he's been back?"

Dr. Hawthorne nodded as he unwrapped the splint on Sam's arm. The arm was still incredibly swollen, the skin was purple and covered in scabs, and a long scar ran down from his elbow to just above his wrist. "He came back around 7 to check on you. I informed him that we had once again changed your pain medication… please let us know if you're in any pain."

The doctor looked up, expecting an answer about the pain, but Sam was focused on other things. "What time did he leave? Did he say if he was going back to the motel?"

The physician rolled his eyes and shook his head as he probed the injured limb. Sam hissed in pain. "He left an hour ago when visiting hours ended. He didn't say anything to me, but I overheard him telling one of the nurses that he couldn't meet with her after her shift because he had to, quote, 'take a walk in the park'." The man smiled, "Let me tell you, she just loved that… If a nurse with red hair comes in here, I'd hide if I were you."

The doctor bent his head back down and began to resplint the arm. Sam shook his head. If Dean went back to the park alone- or even with Drew, alone- he was going to kill him. Not that he didn't want Danny's issue to be resolved as fast as possible, but the ghosts of the two druggies were still roaming around and Drew had already committed at least one murder… Sam closed his eyes in prayer. He hoped Dean hadn't been that stupid.

The doctor finished and tapped Sam's shoulder. "Looks good. It's still pretty swollen so I wouldn't be concerned just yet if you don't have full feeling. We'll be better able to judge that after the swelling goes down a bit."

Sam snorted and opened his eyes. "Uh…I'm pretty sure I can feel all of it right now."

Dr. Hawthorne looked skeptical and Sam explained. "Hurts like a bitch."

The man nodded. "Do you want me to send the nurse in with your painkiller? We're stopping the intravenous. I'm prescribing Oxycontin slow release twice per day. It's quite strong so I doubt you'll be feeling much while you're on it."

Sam swallowed and shook his head. "I'm okay for now."

The doctor nodded. "Alright, the medication should be delivered along with your breakfast tomorrow, let the nurse know if you need something in the meantime. I'll see you tomorrow morning then."

Sam agreed and watched as the man left. As soon as he was out the door, Sam picked up the nearby phone and dialed his brother's number. There was no answer.

"I'm gonna kill him…"

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Sam saw the rope once again tied to the tree and growled under his breath. His brother really was that stupid… Not that Sam could really say anything about that considering that he had _also_ went into the haunted park alone, but he had an excuse- someone had to be back up for Dean.

Coming to the embankment, Sam laid on his stomach and peered over the edge, mindful of his aching arm. A dose of powerful painkillers was certainly needed, but Sam couldn't be stoned right now. After the hunt though, he planned to spend a long time being _very_ out of it.

Below him, Sam saw his brother squirting lighter fluid on Danny's remains. He bit his lip. He really didn't want Danny to go out that way. Nobody knew what happened after a ghost was destroyed, but it was so much more peaceful if their issue was resolved- and the poor kid had been through enough.

Just as Sam was about to call out and stop his brother, Danny's ghost appeared behind Dean.

"What're you doin'?"

Dean jumped, dropping the lighter fluid. "Whoa! Shit!"

From where he lay, Sam smirked, and noted the ghost laughing as well.

"You're Dean, right?"

Dean seemed to get himself together rather quickly as he nodded. "You're Danny?"

Danny nodded also and held out his hand for Dean to shake. "Nice ta meet ya."

Dean shook the hand, an uneasy look on his face, and Danny peered over at his remains. "What'cha doin' to my bones, Dean?"

Immediately, Sam was on guard and he could tell from the shift in his brother's posture that Dean was too. He wondered how Dean would talk his way out of this one…

"Uh. Well, Sammy told me about you…thought I'd come down here to try to help you out."

The ghost looked up, confused. "By burning my bones?"

Dean looked surprised and the boy's expression suddenly turned smug. "I know what lighter fluid is…I'm not stupid, you know."

Sam smiled from his perch and Dean laughed. "Yeah. Sorry."

Danny shook his head. "I can't go, Dean. I have to wait for my brother. He promised me he'd come back. I have to make sure I'm here when he comes. I wouldn't want him to think that he was looking for me all this time and I just left…"

Sam watched as his brother considered the statement, compassion entering his eyes. He had no idea what went on between Dean and Drew this afternoon, but clearly Danny's brother had no intention of ever coming back.

Dean sunk down on one knee to be closer to eye level with the ghost. "Danny…Drew…he's not coming back."

Sam's gut twisted. He didn't know what Dean's plan was, but upsetting a ghost was _never_ a good idea. Danny, for his part, didn't seem to want to hear the information. Instead, the boy backed away from Dean, shaking his head. Once again, Sam thought he saw tears in the specter's eyes. "That's…that's not true. My brother wouldn't leave me. He promised me he'd come back. He'd never break a promise. Never."

Sam watched Dean suck in his lips and put a hand over his mouth. Sam knew that look, Dean was distressed. "Danny, sometimes, things happen that stop people from keeping their promises."

Danny nodded, pointing a ghostly finger at his visitor. "Sam told me you don't keep all your promises."

A look of hurt flashed through Dean's features and Sam let his head flop onto his forearm with a groan. Of all the things he had told Danny about Dean, _that's_ the one his brother finds out about…

Dean shrugged away his upset. "Well, sometimes, when someone makes a promise, they don't always think things through."

Danny smiled. "Sam told me that too. He said you always knew which promises to keep and which you never should've made."

Sam looked up in time to see the small, surprised smile, grace his brother's lips. "He did?"

The ghost grinned wider. "Yeah. He told me all about you! I think he tried to make you as cool as Drew, but, and no offense, my brother could totally take you…especially when he hears that you told me he wasn't coming."

Both Sam and Dean laughed at that, but neither replied. Drew was a skinny, forty-year-old, pale chemist. If Dean and Drew _had_ faced off, Drew wouldn't have had a chance in hell.

Dean's expression turned serious fairly quickly. "Danny…Drew's dead."

Sam started, sharing the same wide-eyed, surprised look as the dead boy. Had Dean actually killed Drew? There was no way…was there? Sure Dean would've been pissed, but _murder_? Then Sam remembered what Dean had said to him before he left, 'Dude, if I kill him, you have nobody to blame but yourself for sending me there.' Shit.

Danny's shock quickly disappeared, morphing into angry denial. Once again, the boy pointed a finger at Sam's brother. "No! You're lying! That's not true!"

Dean remained calm, his voice filled with care. "I found his bones, dude. It looks like he died not long after you fell. He probably was rushing to get you help…should've look where he was going."

Sam furrowed his brow in confusion. What? Then he realized, Dean was making up the story to spare the boy the pain of knowing what his brother had really done.

The ghost was now sobbing, his hands placed loosely by his mouth, searching Dean's face for any lies. But Dean was good and no lies were found. Danny grated in a breath. "Did it hurt him?"

Dean closed his eyes briefly, obviously distressed by the fact that the abandoned boy still cared about his brother. He shook his head. "Probably happened instantly."

Danny wiped his ghostly tears with his sleeves as he nodded. "So that's why he never came for me?"

Dean nodded and Danny bit his spectral lip. "He never abandoned me. He really did try to get help…"

Sam watched his brother raise his eyebrows in time with his own. So Danny hadn't been as clueless as they had originally thought. Most likely, the boy had known he'd been abandoned, but was unable to face it, so he had just kept telling himself that Drew would be back. Now that he knew, or thought, that Drew had another reason for not returning, he could be more honest with himself.

Dean put a hand on the ghost's arm. "Danny. You don't have to wait here anymore, man. Drew's waiting for _you_. Find the light; your whole family'll be there."

The boy stood, just staring until a confused look came over his face. "But Drew promised he'd be back for me. What if he comes and I'm not here?"

Sam heard his brother's exasperated sigh. "Danny, Drew's dead."

The ghost shook his head. "But I am too. And I'm still here. Maybe he didn't move on, maybe he's still looking for me as a ghost. That's why he can't find me."

Dean looked contemplative and Sam wondered how his brother would answer that one. Then Dean sat, making himself comfortable on the floor, leaning to the side, one knee up by his chin. "Sam told you he's my little brother right?"

Danny sat down across from Dean, listening attentively as Dean continued. "Just 'cause I'm older…it doesn't mean I can always help him. I mean sure I try, but sometimes…sometimes I need help too."

Sam whispered into his arm as he watched. "What help do you need, Dean?"

Twenty feet below, Dean continued. "I want to be able to fix everything for him. I want him to not have to worry about things, to be safe, but sometimes…there's just too much and I can't do it on my own. I need his help too."

Danny seemed to consider this. "You need him to help you help him?"

Dean nodded. "And I think Drew might need _your_ help."

Danny stood up, determined. "What do I have to do?"

Dean stood too, clamping a hand on the boy's shoulder. "All right, Danny! You know for a kid, you're not so bad. A guy'd be lucky to have you for a brother."

Danny's smile shined. "Really?!"

Dean sent a sad smile back. "Instead just waiting here for Drew to come find you, you should try to find him. With you both looking, you could be found twice as fast."

The ghost nodded. "Okay. How do I get out of here?"

Dean stepped behind him. "You remember seeing a light? Try to look for it."

There was silence for a few moments as Danny stared blankly out onto the water. Then, the boy gasped and pointed. "I see it. Dean, I see it. It's getting bigger."

Sam smiled and watched as his brother did the same. "Good. You see your parents there?"

The specter squinted, a concerned look on his face. "Yeah…but Drew's not with them. They're smiling at me." The boy began to weep. "I forgot what they looked like. I haven't seen them in so long. I forgot how much I missed them."

Sam felt his own tears pooling in his eyes and Dean nudged the ghost forward. "Go to them Danny, they'll help you find your brother."

Danny's brows drew together and Sam felt a charge build up in the air. He shivered as a chill ripped through him. The ghost's eyes were still focused on water in front of him, but Danny's voice had taken on a new, distrustful quality. "Dean? I thought you said Drew was dead."

Sam pushed himself into a kneeling position. Something was wrong.

Dean stepped further back from the ghost and Danny glared at the air in front of him. "They said Drew's not dead." A look of horrified revelation passed through the boy's features and he turned his back to the water. "That's not true! He didn't leave me!"

The wind picked up and the air became heavy with the scent of ozone. Sam moved toward the rope, trying to determine the best way to help his brother. Danny was now openly crying, his gasps harshly grating past his vocal chords. "He didn't leave me! He loved me! He promised me!" The boy looked up at the now white-faced Dean. "I loved him! I wanted to be just like him! I wanted to hang out with him! But he hated me! He hated me! I did everything I could! I even learned how to cook, I asked him to teach me, but he hated me! I just wanted him to love me!"

Sam stood at the top of the embankment, rope in his hand, and tears in his eyes. Looking down below him, he could see the water in his brother's eyes glistening in the moonlight. Oblivious to the two onlookers, Danny continued. "I was supposed to walk home with Tommy, but Drew said we could spend the afternoon together. He told me he'd take me fishing over the weekend." The boy looked up at Dean, transparent tears covering his face. "I thought it was weird, but I didn't care. I jumped at it. I was so excited that he wanted to spend time with me."

Dean swallowed and Danny took a seat on his remains, pulling his knees up to his chest. "We joked the whole way into the park. I never even asked why we were going this way. I was just so happy. I asked him for all this advice and he smiled at me; he even laughed. But he was just setting me up." The ghost looked up again. "Why didn't he love me? What did I do wrong?"

Sam brushed the tears from his eyes as he heard his brother whisper an answer. "Nothing." Then Dean crouched in front of the ghost. "Danny, I meant what I said before, a guy'd be proud to have you for a brother."

The ghost looked back seriously. "Would you?"

Dean looked confused for a moment and then shrugged. "Yeah… sure…"

The boy stood, a confident look on his face, brushing away the tears. He looked up at the top of the cliff and then back down to Dean. "_You_ came back for me, Dean."

Seemingly sensing that something was up, Dean took a step back before responding. "Yeah…"

Danny nodded and held out a hand. "Come with me."

Dean stared at the hand, but didn't take it. "Where?"

The boy gestured toward the water. "I don't want to be alone anymore. You could be my brother. You could help me get to the light. I'm scared to go by myself."

Sam's heart pounded in his chest. Pity, anger, fear, and sadness warred inside him. Danny had gotten royally screwed in life, and Dean _was_ a great brother. But just because Drew had sucked, that didn't mean he could just take Dean. Wrapping the rope tightly in his hand, Sam approached the edge of the cliff.

Dean's voice echoed below him. "I'm sorry kiddo, I can't."

Sam began to repel his way down the muddy wall. His movements seemed to go unnoticed by the ghost who was continuing to try to persuade Dean. "But I don't want to be alone anymore, and you came back for me."

Sam reached the ground just in time to see Danny grab Dean's neck. Sam wasn't sure if Danny was strangling him, or doing something else entirely, but whatever it was, it was obvious that it hurt. Dean's face was tensed in pain, a scream tearing from his lips.

Not having any plan, Sam ran over and seized his brother's arm, pulling him away from the ghost. Danny released his hold and Dean fell into Sam, gasping. Carefully, his eyes still on the specter, Sam lowered his brother to the ground. Dean's eyes were closed, his muscle tone weak, as he struggled to take in each breath.

Danny looked back at Sam, remorse filling his expression and tears filling his eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt him. I just don't want to be alone anymore."

Sam pulled his brother closer. "That doesn't mean you can take Dean."

Danny argued. "But he came back for me. He said he'd be proud to have me for a brother."

Sam took a breath, trying to calm himself, push down his fear and anger. "And I'm sure he meant that, Danny, but you can't just kill him. It's wrong."

The ghost shook its head. "I don't want to be by myself. Dean could be my brother."

Sam looked down and sighed in relief seeing Dean's glazed eyes looking around. He moved his attention back to the apparition. "Danny, you saw the light, your parents are waiting for you. Go to them, then you won't be alone anymore."

The boy nodded and knelt next to the brothers. "I want to. They loved me. I felt it. But I'm scared. I don't want to go by myself." He put a hand on Dean's arm. "I want Dean to come with me."

Sam shook his head as he tugged his brother away from the ghost. "Dean can't come with you."

The ghost began sobbing again, pulling Dean back toward him. "But, why?"

Sam yanked on Dean's other arm, drawing his brother back towards himself, pleading for the ghost to understand. "Because _I_ need him here…"

Danny shook his head, once again jerking Dean towards him. "No you don't! You're all grown up! You don't need him anymore!"

Sam pulled back. "Yes I do! Danny, Dean's the only thing that I have!"

The ghost sobbed. "But I don't have _anything_!"

Sam shook his head. "I'm sorry for that. I really am. But you can't take Dean. He's my brother; I _need_ him."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam saw Dean blink over at him, but Sam kept his gaze on the ghost refusing to make eye-contact with his brother. For a minute, the two younger siblings stared off, each clutching one of Dean's arms. Finally, Dean gained enough of his wits back to break the silence, speaking compassionately to Danny. "Danny, I'm sorry. I can't go with you, dude. I go with Sam."

The boy began shaking his head, tears once again running down his translucent face. He pleaded with Dean. "No. Please. I need you, too. I'll be a good brother. I promise. I'd never leave you." Danny pointed his finger at Sam. "If he needs you so bad, then why'd he leave you? Three times!"

Sam blinked in surprise. Ghosts could often read minds, but somehow, he hadn't been expecting that. Dean shook his head. "Sam came back for me, every time. Once he knew I needed him, he came back."

Danny screamed in anger and sadness. "No, I'd be good. I'm a good brother. Why doesn't anyone want me?!"

Sam tried again. "Your parents want you, Danny. You can go to them. You can find peace, you won't be alone anymore."

But the ghost was too far gone. With his head tipped down, the boy turned his eyes up, his heartbreaking stare piercing Sam's soul. "I'm scared. I don't want to be left alone." Something about the words seemed familiar to Sam, but he couldn't place them. Then, suddenly, Danny's hands were once again around Dean's throat.

Dean's scream split the air and without a second thought, Sam pulled the lighter from his pocket, lit it, and threw it on the fluid soaked bones. Immediately, the remains were covered in fire. Sam spun around in time to watch Danny release a dazed Dean and stare at his blazing body.

The ghost was on fire too now and Danny was crying, his eyes pleading in fear. "Please! I'm sorry!" The boy looked around frantically. "I can't see a light! It's not here! This place is different! Please! There's no one here! I don't want to be alone!" With a burst of light, Danny was gone.

Sam stood gaping, tears in his eyes, staring at the place where the ghost once stood. He had destroyed over three hundred ghosts in his lifetime, but this one was going to stick with him. They should've planned more, thought things through better. It shouldn't have ended this way. They should've been able to help Danny. The boy had had a depressing life, a horrific death, and now he'd be alone for eternity. They should've been able to save him.

Sam looked over at his brother. Dean was pale, laying back against the muddy wall, dark circles under his eyes. He stared at the spot the ghost from where had vanished with a tormented look on his face. Clearly, this hunt would be staying with Dean too.

Realizing that Dean hadn't moved since Danny's attack, Sam walked over and crouched down next to his sibling. Carefully, he tilted Dean's head to the side to better examine his neck. Dean pushed him away. "Dude, get off me."

Sam swallowed, the tears over Danny still in his eyes. "Are you alright?"

Dean turned his head, giving his brother a tired look. He spoke with sarcasm. "Thanks for saving my life, Sam. I mean, instead of just sitting there and watching while Danny killed me."

Sam sat back, confused. "What?"

Dean shrugged. "Isn't that what we do now? Thank each other every time one of us helps the other one?"

Sam stuck out his lower jaw, annoyed. He only wanted Dean to know that he loved him, and now he was being mocked for it. "I just wanted you to know that I appreciate you, Dean."

Dean raised his brows, an intimidating expression covering his face. He looked calm, but anyone who knew him would be able to tell that he was fuming. "Hey man, that's all I'm doing too. I mean, you just as easily could've sat there and watched while the kid ripped my head off. I'm just thanking you for getting involved."

Sam stood up. "What the hell is your problem? I 'could've just as easily sat there and watched?' You really think I would do that?"

Dean shakily stood, leaning against the wall. "Insulting isn't it?"

Sam stepped back in surprise. It was insulting. Is that how he had sounded when he 'thanked' Dean? "What?"

Dean now looked reserved and tired, all the anger having drained from his expression. He pointed a finger at his brother. "You compared me to Drew. Not just your average Joe Schmo brother. No…you compared me to evil incarnate. And then you went and you thanked me for shit I would've done for a complete freakin' stranger, much less you."

Sam tried to interrupt. "Dean, I just-"

Dean gave him no time to speak. "It's freakin' offensive, Sam. You _should _expect me to help you because I've worked damn hard to make sure that I'm there every time. I take freakin' pride in that. I can't believe you compared me to that piece of shit!"

Sam blinked, not knowing what to make of Dean's outburst. "Can I say something?"

Dean shrugged, turning toward the rope. "Sure…why the hell not? Unless your mouth's broken too?"

Sam ignored the comment. "This past year's been hell, Dean, and we've both had a lot of shit to deal with. And I'll admit; I haven't handled this whole thing with the demon and his plans for me all that well. And I've been leaning on you, a lot, and don't tell me that you've got it, that it's no big deal, because I heard you before, Dean, when you were talking to Danny. You said you couldn't handle it all. And I know I'm the one who dumped it on your shoulders."

Dean stared at his brother, his face blank, and Sam sighed. "Look, man, I just…you took it all, without a word, and you held me above the water while you were drownin' below my weight. And I just wanted to thank you…for what you did for me."

Silence stretched as both brothers stared at the floor by their feet, the scent of ozone and smoke filling their nostrils. It was a familiar smell, one they had grown up with, the scent of a job well done- although this time, it felt as though they had failed miserably. Finally, Dean looked back up at his brother, speaking quietly. "You're welcome."

Sam nodded, his eyes still on the floor. With a sigh, Dean brought over the rope, pushing it into his brother's hand. Giving Sam's good shoulder a squeeze, Dean pointed to the cliff. "You go up first."

Sam turned toward Dean, his expression looking sad and worried. "Dean…you really okay?"

The corner of Dean's mouth turned up. "I'm fine, Sammy."

Sam relaxed, relief flowing through him. Hesitantly, he looked up the embankment wall- it was going to be a long climb. Sam winced, trying to convince himself that his arm didn't feel like it was about to fall off.

"We really blew this one, man."

Dean's voice was soft and Sam turned to watching his brother's eyes reflect the fire. He nodded. "Yeah."

Dean looked down. "Yeah."

For a moment they both stood still, before Sam spoke again. "I didn't have a choice, Dean. He was killing you."

Dean looked up, tilting his head in sympathy. "It wasn't you, Sam. Hell, I was the one who salted and doused the bones." He shook his head. "I didn't realize…he didn't deserve to go out that way."

Sam nodded with a small smile. "It was good lie, man. Especially considering that you were on the spot."

Dean gave a soft snort. "Yeah. I was pretty sure I'd be going to Hell for that one. Then I figured…I'm probably headed there anyway, why not add one more thing to the list."

Sam bit his lip. "It was compassionate. You were trying to protect him." Sam moved forward, a light grin on his lips. "You'd make a good big brother."

Dean smirked and raised his brows. "So I'm told." Then he looked up the cliff before turning back to his brother. "All right, let's get out of here."

Sam nodded. "You sure you want me to go first?"

Dean shot him an incredulous look and Sam chuckled. "All right."

Taking a breath, Sam began to climb his way to the top.

* * *

_All right, well, we've got plenty to still resolve here- so stay tuned for the conclusions of the flashback, the doctor, Drew, and of course, thanking Dean (it's not over). Review! Did you like this chapter? Hate it? Lemme know!_


	5. Chapter 5

_+Kyriebess removes baseball cap from head and twists it in her hands+ Um, okay…I KNOW I said this'd be the last part and I KNOW I said the last chapter would be the last part…but, um…_

_+Quickly throws cap back on and jumps behind big rock+ It was too long! I had to end where I was! I'm sorry+wails+_

_Please don't hurl rocks at me. I really did intend for it to end here, but the next two (or possibly one) scene(s) are just so different that I really needed the chapter to end where it did. So, um, there'll be another one? And not to sound like the boy who cried wolf or anything, but that one really will be the last one… I know, I have no more credibility. +Pushes cap over her eyes, flips over, now leaning against rock and sobs+ I'm sorry…_

* * *

**Blind, But Now I See: Chapter 5-**

Sam sat at the top of the cliff, covered in sweat. Climbing up the rope using only one arm had been just as difficult the second time around…despite the sling. The throbbinng in his arm was getting to a point where it was overtaking all feeling and thought. Sam screwed up his face in pain, doubling over around his arm.

"Did you get any painkillers before you signed yourself out?"

Sam looked up to see Dean pulling himself over the edge of the cliff. The moonlight was more visible up here and Sam could see the bruises forming on his brother's neck. The hurt in his arm was nothing compared to what would've been the hurt of losing Dean and that thought seemed to make the ache recede just a bit.

Sam shook his head, grimacing as he replied. "I didn't sign out, just went for a really long walk."

Dean paused with one leg over the edge to shoot his brother a look. Then he rolled his eyes. "That was one hell of a walk, Sam."

Sam nodded and Dean finished pulling himself out of the embankment, brushing the mud off his jeans as he stood up. "Tell me you didn't actually walk."

Sam stayed doubled over his arm and shook his head, now in too much pain to speak. He didn't know if it was the extra strain he had been putting out since leaving the hospital, or if the remaining painkillers in his system had stopped working, but either way, the pain was unbearable.

Sam blinked, feeling a bead of sweat roll of his nose and onto his pant leg. Suddenly, Dean's hands were on his shoulders, his face looking worriedly at Sam's. "Sammy?"

Sam took a breath. "Sorry…it really hurts."

Dean nodded. "Come on."

Dean pulled him up, draping his good arm over his shoulder while he fought the urge to throw-up on his brother. Sam looked around wondering when it was that Dean had coiled the rope. Now Danny's smoldering remains were the only proof that they had been there. Dean pushed them both forward.

"Come on, man. Let's get going."

Sam nodded and stared at his shoes as they walked. If he looked up, he'd throw up. They had only walked a few feet when a click sounded and Dean abruptly stopped. Concerned, Sam forced his head to raise…and found himself staring into the barrel of a pistol. Next to him, he could feel Dean's muscles tense, his whole body on edge.

"You piece of shit."

The man with the gun smiled. "I have a gun; I wouldn't call me names if I were you."

Understanding the situation, despite his pain, Sam took all his weight back and separated himself from his brother. For one thing, he wanted to be at least enough distance from Dean that they both couldn't be taken out with one shot. And for another, while it was unlikely that he'd be kicking ass in his current condition, Dean could, and would need to be free of Sam's weight to do so.

Dean grit his teeth. "Dude…I'm so pissed right now, I'm pretty sure I could take a bullet and still manage to tear your throat out."

The man sneered and raised his gun higher. "Even if I shoot you in the head?"

Dean did not appear threatened. "How the hell could you do that to him? The kid worshipped the freakin' ground you walked on."

Drew made an unsympathetic face. "My whole life was forced to revolve around Danny. 'You can't go out, you need to watch your brother,' 'Drew, go make your brother dinner,' 'You can't join the math team, we need you walk Danny home from school'. Every single thing was centered on him. Do you have any idea what that's like, to know that everything that you wanted to do yourself would never happen because your brother has to come first? It was like I was a slave to him."

Dean's jaw clenched and Sam spoke up. "But Danny didn't think of you that way. He loved you. He looked up to you. He didn't want to ruin your life."

Drew shook the gun over at Sam. "And I didn't ask for him to be born!"

"You sick bastard." Dean spoke through clenched teeth while moving toward the man, stopping only when the gun once again faced him.

Drew laughed. "You should understand, Dean. You told me in our little heart-to-heart the other day after little brother here left that your father did the same to you…squashed all your dreams and wishes just so he'd have someone to babysit Sam." Sam searched his brother's face for what was actually said, but all Sam could see was Dean's rage. Drew continued, his voice growing in volume. "You even said that it's still happening, even though your father's dead. That you want to quit your job, stop traveling, settle somewhere, but you'll never be able to do that because of Sam."

Sam's heart clenched in fear and his breath stopped. Had Dean actually said that? It was hard to believe Dean would ever say something like that out loud, much less to a stranger, but Sam had always thought that some part of his brother might feel that way. How else would Drew have known those things, if Dean hadn't said them?

Dean seemed to be infuriated with Drew, although Sam briefly wondered if part of that was because he hadn't wanted Sam to find out what he had said. Dean's eyes were bulging, his breaths causing his whole chest to heave. Dean leaned toward the man, pointing at him, speaking quietly through his teeth. "I'm going to kill you. I'm watching every movement you make and when you slip, even for a second, I'm going to use it to rip you apart with my bare hands. I promise you, you're not leaving this park alive."

Sam stared at his brother. Dean wasn't kidding. He wasn't exaggerating. He meant that. And what was worse, Dean could do it. They had killed many things in their lifetimes, and Drew was evil, but he was also human, one hundred percent human. Killing him would cross the line from hunting to murder.

Drew also seemed to understand that Dean was serious. If possible, the man seemed to pale even more, and took a step back. "I'm sorry, Dean, but I would think you of all people would understand."

"I wou…me of all…you thought _I_ would…" Apparently, Dean was so enraged, he couldn't even find the words.

Drew nodded. "Yes. You should understand, you're burdened by your brother too. He's holding you back."

Dean stepped forward and Drew stepped back, still pointing the gun. "My brother, is _not_ a burden. And he sure as all HELL ain't holding me back!"

This time, even Sam backed up as Dean continued. "That's what family is. That's what they do. _Family_ is when you care more about another person's happiness than you do your own. That's what it is. It's being unselfish-"

Drew laughed. "Unselfish? Yeah? And what happens when it's only unselfish for one person and selfish for the other? What happens when you're giving up everything and the other person just takes everything? Then is it _family_?"

Dean shook his head, his eyes shooting daggers. "Danny idolized you! He trusted you. He looked up to you. There's a responsibility that comes with that-"

Drew cut him off. "I never asked for that responsibility-"

Dean pointed. "It doesn't matter whether you asked for it or not! Danny didn't ask for it either! _He_ wasn't the one who was selfish. He gave-"

Drew shook his gun, stepping closer to Dean. "He gave me nothing! He took everything from me! I couldn't even go on my first date because he got sick and I had to stay in the house in case he needed something!"

"He was younger than you!" Dean's face had turned red, his voice clearly becoming sore from the screaming. Spit flew from his mouth as he yelled. "He was a kid! He needed you to watch out for him!"

Drew yelled back. "So what?! I was a kid too! What about me?! What did he ever do for me?!"

"He gave it back to you! He gave it back in trust and admiration! He gave it back in the way he looked at you!"

Drew brought his gun up again, moving forward. "That's not the same! I gave up more! He didn't sacrifice anything!"

Dean held his ground. "It doesn't have to be the _same_! It couldn't be the same; you were older! He couldn't give you back what you gave him! He gave it back in a different way! Just because it's not the same doesn't mean it's not equal! Equal doesn't mean the same thing on both sides. It means both people give what they can!"

Drew shook his head, sputtering. "Why am I arguing with you anyway? You never even knew my brother. He died when you were a toddler. You have no idea what he was like."

"No, but I do."

Sam and Drew whirled at the voice of the man stepping out from the trees. A movement to his right caught Sam's eye and he turned back just in time to see Dean lunge forward and in one quick motion, rip the gun from Drew's hand and point it at his head. Before Drew could even process the fact that he had been disarmed, Sam moved toward his brother. "Dean, give me the gun."

But Dean made no movement, gave no indication that he even heard Sam. Instead he just stood, holding the gun out, staring at the center of Drew's forehead. Sam tried again, swallowing his fear. "Dean?"

The man from the trees stepped forward. "Dean, I know you want to kill him…but do me a favor and hold off for a second? I need to beat the shit out of him first. Then I'll help you hide the body."

Drew looked back and forth, caught between both men. When he had the gun, the man had seemed almost smug, now he was pale, sweaty, and clearly frightened. Sam looked down to check if the man had pissed his pants yet. Nope, apparently he had _some_ self-control…

Finally, Dean spoke, lowering the gun a fraction of an inch. "Dr. Hawthorne?"

The doctor turned to Sam. "You're wasting the time and energy of our nursing staff right now. They're not tending to the patients as well as they could because they're all looking for you."

Sam stood up straighter, still having not recovered from his shock of seeing the doctor arrive. "Uh…sorry."

The physician gave a curt nod and turned to Dean. "I overheard some of what the two of you were discussing in the hospital and when I heard Danny and Drew…and I knew Sam got hurt in the park…I had to see what was going on. I know this is where Danny went missing." He turned to Drew. "I know you took him here that day."

Drew stared at the doctor annoyed, but said nothing.

Dr. Hawthorne flared his nostrils in anger. "What did you do?" Then, all at one, the physician looked sad. "Please tell me you didn't kill him yourself…that would've destroyed him…and not just his body."

Drew didn't answer, so Dean spoke for him. "Nah…bastard didn't _kill_ him…just let some druggies beat the shit out of him…then he ran the kid off that cliff."

The doctor looked over at the cliff and Sam picked up the story. "Danny broke his leg and Drew promised he'd be back for help. He never came back and Danny died there five days later, still waiting."

Drew scoffed at Sam. "Please. He wouldn't have lasted five days. At most it would've been two." He the chemist stopped and looked between Sam and Dean. "Wait a minute. How did you know all that?"

Dr. Hawthorne's eyes flashed. "You…" He never finished the sentence, having instead decided to charge forward, plowing into Drew. Sam and Dean both stepped back in surprise, watching as the doctor pummeled the man repeatedly. Blood, sweat, and spit flew everywhere. It wasn't really even a fight, as Drew seemed unable to even defend himself. The man didn't even know how to block a punch.

Dean lowered the gun and turned to his brother. "Dude, did I miss something? Why is the doc here?"

Sam thought for a moment. He had apparently missed something too. Then, with a start, he turned to his brother. "What was the doc's first name?"

Dean looked confused. "Uh…John? Peter? Thomas?"

Sam interrupted him. "Thomas?!"

Dean shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe. It was definitely one of the apostles…"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Danny kept talking about a kid named Tommy."

Dean snapped his fingers. "That was the kid he was supposed to go home with that day."

Sam nodded. It made sense if Dr. Hawthorne was Tommy. Dean made a face. "So he was Danny's best friend…man…no wonder he's so pissed."

Sam cringed as he watched the enraged doctor land another punch on the semi-conscious man's face. "Dean, he's gonna kill him…"

Dean stared at Drew with hatred in his eyes. "Good."

Sam tilted his head in disbelief. "Dean." When he received no response, he tried again. "Dean, we can't just let him kill him."

Dean sent his brother a look, clearly saying, 'yes we can' and then turned back to the fight.

Sam sighed. If that was the way Dean felt, fine, but _he_ couldn't just stand by and watch Drew get murdered- regardless of how evil the man was. Taking a breath, Sam stalked towards the fighting men. Almost immediately, Dean's hand was on his arm, pulling him back. "Whoa, Sam. What're you doing?"

Sam turned to his brother. "I can't sit and watch a man get murdered, Dean, whether he deserves it or not. I'm breaking it up."

Dean pushed him back, staring incredulously. "With one arm?"

Sam nodded. "If I have to." Once again, he began walking toward the fight…and once again, Dean pulled him back.

"All right, all right. I'll break it up." Dean handed his brother the gun and walked to the men, stopping just before them to point a finger at his brother. "You stay there. It won't do us any good if you get hit in the arm and pass out."

Sam rolled his eyes and watched as Dean paused an unnecessarily long time before reaching down and wrapping his arms around the doctor's elbows, pulling him off Drew. The physician seemed to struggle for a moment before allowing Dean to pull him back. As they stumbled backward toward Sam, both men glared with hatred at the bruised and bloody form on the floor. Finally, once they were several feet away, Dean released his hold.

The doctor, breathing heavily, adjusted his shirt and wiped the sweat from his brow. His hands were shaking, his knuckles scraped raw. He looked over at the brothers. "I have no idea why or how you got involved in this, but I've been trying to figure out for years what happened to Danny. He was supposed to go home with me the day he disappeared. He went with that asshole instead, so I knew he had something to do with it. Plus I knew _Drew_, so I knew he had something to do with it." The man shook his head in contempt. "I never understood Danny's blind worship for that piece of shit. Drew treated him like crap and he'd just take it."

Sam turned his eyes to Danny's brother who was now lying on his side, breathing harshly into the ground. Every now and then the man would cough and then moan. His face was already swelling and it was obvious that several of the bones in his face had been broken. Drew was a pitiful sight and Sam couldn't help feeling that Danny would've been very upset with Tommy…er, Dr. Hawthorne…if he had been around to see what happened. He closed his eyes as the thought of Danny reminded him of the horrible way the boy had left this world…physically and spiritually.

"He killed Danny because he was jealous. I'm sure what he said about having to take care of Dan was true too, but really it was jealousy. Everybody in the town loved Danny- and nobody could stand Drew. Danny was captain of the little league team. He played shortstop. He was an altar boy at St. Cecila's. He volunteered every other weekend at the nursing home. He was a boy scout. He used to love fishing and camping and hiking. He was nice to everyone he met, never had anything bad to say about anybody." The doctor turned to the brothers. "He was the kind of guy who'd work all fall raking leaves just so he'd have money to buy a new bike and then when he's on line in the store and sees that Mrs. Randall can't afford to buy her kids Christmas presents, puts the bike away and hands her the money without a second thought."

Sam closed his eyes in sorrow, Danny had been a good kid, twenty-four years of being a ghost had had its impact on him. He hoped wherever Danny was now, it was better than where he'd been the past twenty-four years.

Dr. Hawthorne continued, now on the verge of tears. "When he went missing, the whole town looked for three weeks straight. But Drew kept throwing them off. He insisted that Danny had gone to play by the train tracks and then he volunteered to cover this part of the forest. After Marty and Paul were found dead of the drug overdose, everybody just assumed they'd killed Danny. I knew Drew was involved. I just couldn't figure out how…and nobody would listen to a twelve year old."

Drew began to push himself up on all fours, his words slurring through his swollen lips and missing teeth. "You can't prove anything. Danny fell. I didn't push him, hell, I didn't even plan for that to happen. It was just dumb luck. I had only planned for Marty and Paul to beat him up a little. I even stopped them before they seriously hurt him. Danny's fall was just a fluke. I didn't kill him, I just didn't help. I left it up to him to get out."

Dean growled. "With a broken leg? Say what it is…you killed him."

The doctor gave a reflective laugh. "I never understood how he could be so blind to you. We'd be at little league, the whole freakin' town would be there, and there'd Danny be, frownin' into the crowd, looking for you. Every single freakin' time, he'd look for you. Every time we'd be on our way to the game he'd say, 'Maybe Drew'll be there this time. Maybe he'll get to see me make a save'. I never understood why he even cared."

Sam spoke for the deceased boy. "Because Drew was his big brother. He wanted Drew to be proud of him."

The physician shook his head. "He didn't need Drew to be proud. The whole damn town was proud."

Sam nodded. "It's not the same, what his brother thought meant more."

Drew laughed, pushing himself into a standing position. "As though I'd waste even more of my time going to see one of his stupid baseball games."

Dean glared and stuck out his hand, palm up. "Sam, give me the gun."

Sam rolled his eyes, keeping the gun trained on Drew. Drew spit blood onto the ground before looking at Sam. "You're not going to shoot me. If you wanted to kill me, you wouldn't have stopped him from doing it." He pointed at the doctor.

Sam nodded. "I may not be a cold-blooded killer, but you try anything- I'll shoot first, ask questions later."

Drew frowned and stepped back, clearly having lost some confidence. "Like I said before, you can't prove anything. In fact, I probably have more on you right now because my face…" he pointed to the doctor, "…and your knuckles will match up."

Dr. Hawthorne spoke with confidence. "You have a license to carry a gun then?"

That stopped Drew for a moment, but then he shrugged. "I'll just say that you and your two goons broke into my house, stole my gun, and dragged me out here at gunpoint. Everyone in this town knows that you blamed me. I'll just say that you found Danny's body and snapped."

Dean blinked at his brother. "Dude, did he just call us goons?"

Sam looked serious. "Yeah. I think he did."

Dean nodded. "Seriously Sam, give me the gun."

Sam shook his head. Suddenly, a large white mist appeared to the left Sam's left. Not willing to make the same mistake as Drew, Sam kept his eyes, and gun, on his enemy. However, out of the corner of his vision, he saw the mist divide into two shapes- gradually taking the form of two skinny, long-haired teenage boys. Next to him, he heard his brother groan. "You've got to be freakin' kidding me."

Sam, his focus on Drew, spoke to his brother. "I've got some salt in my coat pocket."

Dean waved him off. "I got it…" He unstrapped a short barrel shotgun from his back. "Sam, we're gonna discuss you comin' here with no weapons later…"

Sam whispered back hastily. "I was coming from the hospital, Dean. Where the hell was I gonna get a shotgun? I'm lucky I found any salt."

Dean growled something in return and pumped his shotgun, aiming it at the ghosts. As soon as they materialized, Dean fired a round at one, and then the other. Instantly, both ghosts disappeared.

"What the hell?" Both Drew and Dr. Hawthorne appeared disturbed by the apparitions, not that Sam would've expected any less.

"Shit!" Sam flicked his eyes to his brother as Dean cursed at the shotgun. "Shit!"

Sam raised his brows. "Problem, man?"

Dean scowled, looking up. "I only got two rounds left."

Sam sighed. Two more shots wouldn't protect them until they got out of the forest. A sudden flare up his arm caused Sam to grimace, his gun wavering. The adrenaline from Drew's sudden appearance was wearing off and his arm was once again overtaking all of his attention. Sweat pooled on his lower back and forehead. He could feel the physician's eyes evaluating him as Dean scanned the area, gun at the ready.

Suddenly the doctor was next to him, taking his pulse. Sam tried to shake the man off; it'd be harder to aim and shoot the gun with someone holding his wrist, but the doctor's grip held firm. Thankfully, Drew didn't make any moves for the gun, not that in his current condition he could have done much anyway…

Finally, Dr. Hawthorne released the wrist. "You need to be back in the hospital."

Immediately, Dean's attention returned to his brother. "What's wrong?"

The doctor turned. "He's re-entering shock."

Dean shook his head, growling under his breath. "Damnit, Sam."

For his part, Sam just ignored both men and concentrated on watching Drew while breathing through the pain. A flare of sharp white pain shot up his arm and through his shoulder and Sam gasped. Briefly, he tried to reposition his arm, to see if that would help, but nothing changed. Finally, he sent a hesitant smile towards the doc. "I don't suppose you have any painkillers on you?"

The man gave Sam a sarcastic, annoyed, smile. "They don't really like it when we take pain killers and sedatives out with us. They prefer it if the controlled substances stay in the hospital. Though, there are probably some in the ambulance you stole."

Dean whirled around. "Dude, you stole an ambulance?!"

Sam shrugged. "It was the closest available vehicle."

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head, now focusing his attention on the white clouds appearing behind the bloody chemist. Not knowing what was happening behind him, the bruised man held up his hands in fear. "Now, now, wait a minute. Don't, don't shoot me…"

One form became clear and Dean fired. Drew squeeked, putting his hands over his head. What that was supposed to do against a theoretical bullet, Sam didn't know. The other ghost became visible and Dean fired his last shot. The spirit disappeared and the smell of urine filled the air. Sam looked down at the whimpering man's crotch…he had known it was only a matter of time…

The doctor stared in disgust. "You're pathetic. I hope to God you rot in Hell."

Sam agreed. If his _father_ was there, then _this_ piece of shit _definitely_ belonged there. Sam lowered his gun. His arm was killing him, and Drew didn't appear to be much of a threat at this point. Closing his eyes, Sam gasped at the pain. There was motion to his right as someone tried to take the gun from his hand. At the same time, there was movement toward the bottom of his jacket. Before he could open his eyes, Dean's voice was in his ear. "Which pocket is the salt in?"

Sam released the gun to his brother and lifted his eyelids. "Uh…" he coughed, "the, the right one."

Dean nodded and fished through Sam's pocket for the salt. Upon finding it, Dean handed his brother half and took the other for himself. He turned to the doctor. "If I give you the gun, can you keep an eye on him without shooting him?"

Dr. Hawthorne squinted, seriously considering the question, before nodding. Dean thrusted the gun into the man's hands.

Drew turned to the three, barely able to speak through his damaged mouth. "What's going on?"

Sam cleared his throat. "Ghosts."

Drew laughed. "That's ridiculous. There's no such thing." Waving the brothers off, Drew turned- right into the face of dead teenager. Immediately, the man let out a scream, which was cut off by the hand of the ghost around his neck. For a moment, the ghost just stood, squeezing as Drew was slowly lifted off the ground by his throat. Drew kicked and gasped, his eyes bulging in pain and fear. And then he flew, having been thrown ten feet through the air, and landed at the doctor's feet.

The ghost stared on from ten feet away, turning and smiling as his dead friend appeared next to him. The doctor squinted trying to make out their transparent faces in the moonlight. His brows raised as recognition dawned. "Marty? Paul?"

But the spirits ignored the physician, instead focusing on the man gasping on the ground. One of the ghosts spoke with an evil, whispered, hiss. "We've been waiting…"

The other smiled as he stepped forward. "All of us were waiting for you…"

The first ghost flew over, lifting the frightened man into a standing position. "You didn't come back. Little brother thought you would…"

The second apparition appeared behind Drew, smelling up the back of the man's neck, whispering in his ear. "That was some good shit you gave us…"

Drew whimpered. The first spirit moved in, his face, inches from the chemist's bloodied, cringing one. "You know what happens when you do coke and it's pure?"

The man whispered his hesitant defense. "I thought purer was better…a better hit for you."

"LIAR!" The second ghost's scream echoed through the forest as the apparition vanished reappearing in back of his friend.

The first spirit smirked. "You know what happens when people who kill their little brothers die?"

The spirits screeched and disappeared as Sam's salt hit their space. Drew began to cry and Sam forced himself to look away, unable to face the pitiful man that had murdered his adoring younger brother. Being in the same familial position, Sam sympathized with Danny and the feelings warred within him. Drew had betrayed his brother in the worst possible way, but given how much Danny had looked up to him, how much Danny cared about him, Sam knew the boy would've been heartbroken to see his evil brother suffering like this. Sam turned to his own brother. "Dean, we need to get him out of here."

Dean gave Sam a disagreeing look, but then dropped it upon seeing Sam's expression. Swallowing, Dean nodded and grabbed the chemist's shoulders. "Come on, asshole."

They made it five feet before Dean was lifted off the ground and sent flying into a nearby tree. Sam tracked his brother's flight, wincing in sympathy as Dean hit the ground. "Dean!"

A high-pitched scream behind him had Sam spinning in a circle, his attention shifting back to Drew. The pale chemist was cornered, a ghost on either side, the cliff at his back. The blood caked on his swollen face, his urine soaked khakis sticking to his skinny legs. Slowly, with sneering faces, the ghosts walked forward, and in turn, Drew walked back. Not having any way to help the man (Dean had the last of the salt), Sam ran over to help his brother. The doctor followed.

Dean was lying still on his side, but thankfully, his eyes were open. Given the way he had hit the tree and was now struggling for breath, Sam figured his brother had gotten the wind knocked out of him. Putting a hand on Dean's back to reassure himself of Dean's breathing, Sam looked to the doctor. "Can you look after him for a sec?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam saw his brother's face scrunch in annoyance, obviously in disagreement about needing to be 'looked after'. But seeing as how Dean was still having difficulty drawing breath, he really didn't have much to say…literally.

Dr. Hawthorne nodded and Sam returned the gesture. Then he pried open his brother's still clenched fist and took the salt. Summoning strength that he truly no longer had, Sam stood up and began moving toward the ghosts. A worry passed through his mind- if _he_ was sent flying into a tree right now and his arm hit, he'd be screwed. But there was no time for hesitation; Drew's worthless life depended on him.

He was only five feet from the spirits when Drew stepped back one stride too far. Sam watched the shock and fear cover the man's face as his right foot met with air and his body tumbled backwards. For a moment, it all happened in slow motion. Drew's arms flailed as he tried to regain his balance and flap his way back onto the cliff, but in that last step, he had leaned back to far and there was no way he'd be able to stop the fall- and no way Sam would be able to reach him in time.

Sam watched as the chemist's head fell back, his swollen eyes wide with fear, his broken mouth in an "o" shape. The head, neck, and chest went first and the man's legs seemed to fall after…and then Drew was gone, having fallen head over heals off of the same embankment that had taken his brother.

The ghosts turned and Sam slid to a stop, his right hand clenching around the salt. For a moment they all stood, staring at each other, in a hunter/spirit face-off. Then, one of the ghosts, called over to the doctor in a hissing, whispered voice. "We beat him up by the train tracks, not here. We never chased…"

Then the other spoke. "_He_ made sure we got blamed; he was trying to scare the boy…telling him they were being chased…we never chased."

The first apparition spoke again. "We would've told…we would've helped."

"We were bad…" The second ghost looked down over the edge of the cliff. "…_we_ weren't evil."

Dr. Hawthorne nodded. "I never thought it was you. I'll take care of it."

The spirits looked serious. "We take life now…not then. Make sure they know…not then."

Again the doctor nodded.

Suddenly, a light filled the area and Sam had to use his arm to shield his eyes from being blinded. An instant later, the light and the spirits were gone.

Dean stood up with an angry grunt. "Sure…_they_ freakin' get into the light."

Sam wiped the sweat from his brow and turned to his brother. "It's not our decision what happens after they move on, Dean. Are you okay?"

Dean rolled his eyes and winced, rubbing a particularly sore spot on his back. "I'm fine, dude."

The doctor sighed as all three approached the edge of the embankment. "It would be very fitting if we found him down there with a broken leg. Then he could know what it was like for Danny."

Dean shook his head with a regretful sigh. "Nah he wouldn't."

Dr. Hawthorne looked confused and Sam explained his brother's reluctant comment. "Danny…he was left there to die. Drew wouldn't be."

The physician bit his lip in annoyance, obviously in disagreement with the brothers position on the matter, but then nodded as he peered over the edge. "Luckily, that looks like it'll be a moot point."

Drew laid at the bottom of the cliff, ass in the air, head on the ground. His neck was bent at an odd angle and his eyes were open. There was no disputing it- the man had broken his neck.

Dean growled at the corpse. "Bastard got off easy."

Sam sighed; at least it was all over. And it was good timing. Sam's vision swam as the pain in arm throbbed in time with his pulse. The nausea was back and he felt as though he was back at last night…only more drained, and more depressed. With a groan, Sam strained, reaching his arm out over Drew's body. Careful to maintain his balance, he released the salt and watched as it descended, landing scattered on the dead chemist.

Then he turned to his brother, who was searching for the lighter fluid. "Dean, after this, we should bury Danny with his family."

Dean paused in his actions to glance over and agree. Biting his lip, Sam added a second opinion. "Dean?" Dean looked up, appearing somewhat annoyed to be interrupted again, and Sam continued. "Drew should be buried there too."

Dean seemed ready to argue, but the doctor beat him to it. "No, that asshole needs to stay here."

Dean raised his brows and nodded. "I agree with the good doc. Sorry man, but that piece of shit doesn't deserve to be buried."

Sam shook his head, whispering through the pain. "It's not about Drew. Danny loved his brother and _Danny_ would want to be buried with him. It's about Danny."

Neither Dr. Hawthorne, nor Dean responded and Sam gasped as his vision began to fade. Fear startled through him as he realized he was about to pass out and he was standing on the edge of a cliff. The blackness swept over him suddenly and his knees bent. Falling forward into the embankment, Sam forced out a barely audible, "Dean!" and then there was nothing.

* * *

_I'm not sure if I should do a sixth chapter or an epilogue (much later in the timeline). I'm open to your opinions. As always, please review- I LOVE to get your feedback. And once again- sorry about not finishing it..._


	6. Chapter 6

_I am SOOO SORRY for how long this update took me! It's been almost a week and a half! Ack! I really hope this didn't come out too disjointed. I'll start with the end of the last chapter to remind everyone of where we were. _

_Yeesh. From now on, I'll be finishing before posting. Then I'll a) know how many chapters there are and b) be able to keep update in a timely manner._

_Thanks for all your feedback on the chapter vs. epilogue thing. I decided to do what most of you suggested and do both, but I put them into one update. Thanks so much for the advice!_

_Um, btw, this chapter ended up being like...REALLY REALLY REALLY long (9050 words). Um, yeah. Like I said, I'm long-winded... _

* * *

**Blind, But Now I See: Chapter 6-**

_Sam gasped as his vision began to fade. Fear startled through him as he realized he was about to pass out and he was standing on the edge of a cliff. The blackness swept over him suddenly and his knees bent. "Dean!"_

_Sam felt himself falling forward into the embankment and then nothing._

* * *

"…I'm well aware of that thank you. I _am_ the one with the medical degree. He's stable enough now to take him off…" 

Slowly Sam came to awareness with a throbbing in his head and arm. Cracking open his eyes, he squinted at the sudden intensity of the light. Then he felt someone pulling the IV out of his arm.

"She's taking out your IV, Sam. I'm taking you off the intravenous…again. And for the record, just because you're off the intravenous, that doesn't mean you can leave the hospital."

Sam turned his head toward the doctor's voice and then stopped as he noticed that he had yet to see Dean. Quickly, he looked around. The nurse, who had finished pulling out his IV was leaving and his brother was nowhere to be seen. Dr. Hawthorne rolled his eyes. "Your brother's sleeping in the doctor's lounge."

Worried, Sam attempted to sit up and then abruptly stopped as the room began spinning. He dropped back down to the bed. "Why? What's wrong with him?"

The physician laughed. "Sam…if there were something _wrong_ with him, he'd be in a hospital bed, not sleeping on a couch in the lounge."

Sam relaxed in relief although he looked confused. The doctor appeared amused. "He's been up for over 48 hours straight. He's got severe bruising on his neck. He was pretty much at the end of his rope…I was this close to drugging him. He said you'd expect him to be here when you woke. _I_ told him you were twenty-three years old. Looks like _Dean_ was right."

Sam squinted his eyes at the man. Overall he liked the doctor, but the dude seriously could be an asshole. "I was wondering where he was because I was worried about him. It had nothing to do with… nevermind. How bad are the bruises on his neck?"

"I'm fine."

Sam looked up as his brother strutted into the room. Dean nodded to him. "How're you?"

Sam shrugged. "Tired. Other than that- and the fact that I want to take a hacksaw to my arm- I'm good."

The doctor pointed to the back. "I can provide you with that service if you'd like. There are several saws around here."

This time both brothers stared incredulously at the physician. While it was true that they had fought together earlier, the man was still a professional, and still should be acting like it. Seriously, joking about removing his arm…

Noticing the brothers' stares, the doctor smirked into his fist while clearing his throat. Then he excused himself from the room. Dean sat in the chair by Sam's bed as Sam spoke. "What the hell is his problem?"

Dean shook his head and grimaced as the action pulled on his neck. "The guy may be a little unprofessional, but he saved your life twice, _and_ helped us turn the tables on Drew. The man's got my respect."

Sam nodded- if he earned Dean's respect, he earned Sam's too. With Dean now closer and in the light, Sam could clearly make out the dark purple bruise covering the side of his brother's neck. Sam bit his lip. "Are you sure you're all right? That bruise looks bad…"

Dean felt the side of his neck and rolled his eyes. "It's fine, Sam. I just need to remember to turn my _whole body_ and not just my head when a hot chick walks by."

Sam gave a half laugh and changed the subject. "So, did I fall off the cliff?"

Dean stared at him as though he were absurd. "Dude, like I'd ever let you fall off a cliff…"

Now if was Sam's turn to shoot his brother a crazy look. "Uh, Dean?" He pointed to his splinted arm. "You remember this?"

Dean waved him off. "No. See, there you _ran_ off a cliff. Nothin' I can do if you decide to take a header off a twenty foot embankment."

Sam rolled his eyes. "So you caught me then?"

Dean appeared insulted. "I was right next to you, man."

Sam nodded. At least he hadn't fallen a second time. That would've sucked. He looked back up at his brother. "So what happened after I was out?"

Dean sighed and leaned back in the chair, putting his feet up on Sam's bed and closing his eyes. "Burned Drew. Then we carried your _heavy_ ass out. Seriously dude…no more burgers for you…" Sam rolled his eyes as Dean continued, "…You were in shock by the time we got to the ambulance. Your BP dropped too low, so the doc fixed you up in the back while I drove…" Dean opened his eyes. "Man, that siren is freakin' cool. I say we get one of those bad boys on the Impala. People hear that thing comin', they jump right out of the way!"

Sam shot his brother a sarcastic look. "Yeah…I'll get right on ordering one." Dean glared and Sam resumed, "So…is Dr. Hawthorne saying anything about Drew or Danny to the police?"

Dean made a face. "What're you kidding me? Who do you think lit the lighter fluid on Drew? No way that dude's saying anything. 'Sides, there's nothin' to say now anyway. We went back last night got the bodies and buried the two with their parents."

Sam started…last night? With a look of shock, Sam questioned his brother. "Last night? Dean…what…when…how, how long was I out?"

Dean shut his eyes, leaning back again. "It's like 8 am now, so…30 hours? Man…I am beat."

And he looked it. His skin was pale, there were dark circles under his eyes; he clearly hadn't shaved… "Dean why don't you go back to the lounge and lay down? Or the motel for that matter?"

Dean shook his head, mumbling. "Nah, I'm good right here."

Sam growled in exasperation. "Dean, you're gonna fall off the chair."

"I'm fine, Sam."

Sam sighed and looked over at the buttons on the side of his bed. Then he smiled. One of the buttons was an automatic release for the bottom of the bed, which meant it would fall, abruptly. Preparing himself for the sudden drop by his legs, Sam pushed the button.

Immediately, the bottom of the bed dropped out from under Dean's feet causing him to lose his balance. Sam smirked as his brother's eyes flew open and his arms flailed in a desperate attempt to regain his stability and stop the chair from falling backwards. Somehow Dean managed to stay on the chair, but just barely. Gripping both sides of the seat, with his feet now in the floor, Dean glowered at his laughing brother. "You're an ass you know that?"

Sam bit his lips to keep from chuckling. "Dean, go sleep somewhere for real."

Dean still looked annoyed and Sam sighed. "At the very least, why don't you go sleep in the car?"

Apparently liking that idea, Dean nodded and stood up. Then he pointed at Sam. "You okay?"

Sam stared back. "In the hospital? Uh…" He looked around, "…nope, no cliffs here- I think I'm good."

Pushing the chair to the side, Dean made his way to the door. "Man, you are seriously a pain in my ass."

Sam laughed and closed his eyes, within minutes he was asleep.

--------------------------------------------3 ½ weeks later------------------------------------------

"I am so ready to ditch this place…"

Sam looked up from his seat on the bed with a smile, watching as Dean packed their gear. They had been in this town for over a month now- the longest they had spent in one place since their father died. But Sam's arm had needed it. There was an additional surgery and then three weeks of healing before it was official that he had beaten the odds. Sam laughed to himself. He damn well _should've_ beaten the odds…if he was blessed with being one in a million for obtaining a demonic curse, he should at least get one in a million for regaining full feeling in his arm… There was supposed to be a balance in life, after all.

As Sam watched his brother pack, he was reminded of his many thoughts throughout this last hunt. Although the hunt had taken place over three weeks ago now, what had happened with Danny would stay with him forever- one more in a list of people they should have, but didn't, save.

And then there was Dean. Dean who, although he was offended to be compared to Drew, Sam couldn't help but feel that his brother had to be God's way of balancing out Drew. Where Drew had been the worst in big brothers, Dean definitely had to be the best. Of course, not that he could tell Dean that since Dean apparently took all compliments and care and support as an insult. He may be unsurpassed in his skills as an older brother, but in other ways, Dean could seriously be a pain in the ass. Why the hell was it so freakin' hard to thank him? Why couldn't Dean just accept his appreciation without taking it as an insult?

Sam thought back to what his brother had told him before his surgery- Dean had said that he owed Sam too. He had been pondering that statement for three weeks now, because he couldn't for the life of him figure out what the hell Dean owed him for. All Sam felt like recently was a burden- someone standing in the way of Dean's happiness. After all, all the demonic events in Dean's life, all the horror and the death that seemed to follow them around, was following them because of Sam. If Dean hadn't been "blessed" with having Sam as a little brother, his life would've been a hell of a lot more peaceful.

Drew's words came back to Sam's mind. There was no way Drew could have known about their father's death or the fact that Dean was stuck in his job because of Sam if Dean hadn't said anything. Sam knew the conversation between Drew and Dean had happened before Dean knew what Drew had done, but still, it didn't change the fact that Dean may have meant what he said. Then again, Dean had been pretty forceful in stating that Sam was Inot/I a burden and chances were, Drew would've twisted whatever Dean had told him. And, Sam knew, before Dean had found out that Drew was responsible for his brother's death, he had felt bad for the guy. It was likely that Dean would've spoken to Drew, told him something about losing a close family member, having a little brother, something, to empathize. And then of course, Drew would use it against him.

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"_Dude, have you ever seen so many fat people in your life?"_

_Sam stared at his brother, embarrassed, as several rather large fair patrons glared their way. "Dean…are you trying to get everyone pissed at us?"_

_Dean looked around the fairgrounds, making a face at all the people gorging themselves on funnel cake, ice cream, gyros, and corn dogs. "I'm sorry man, but these people…no wonder they're having a pie eating contest…that guy over there alone could probably swallow 20 pies whole."_

_Sam sheepishly smiled at the passersby that were shooting him looks. He whined at his brother. "Deeean…"_

_Dean mocked him. "Saaaaam."_

_Sam huffed. Then, his face lit up as he spotted one of his friends. "Hey! There's Weston!"_

_Dean rolled his eyes, following his brother towards his friend. "That's the one that studies all day, right?"_

_Sam squinted back. "They all study, Dean. We do well in school."_

_Dean held up his hands in a fake surrender. "Oh, well, excuse me-"_

_Sam interrupted him, "You know, you'd do well in school too if you ever opened one of your books."_

_Dean laughed. "Yeah- thanks for the lecture, Sammy, but I think I'd rather have a life."_

_Ignoring his brother's comment, Sam smiled as he approached his friend._

_Weston smiled back. "Hey Sam! You made it!"_

_Sam nodded enthusiastically and pointed to his brother. "My brother took me."_

_The other boy looked over at Dean and then seemed to step back in shock. "He's older than you…"_

_Sam looked confused. "Well duh, he's sixteen."_

_Weston seemed stunned; then his expression turned more understanding. "Ohh, your dad made him take you…"_

_Sam retained his perplexed look. "No…Dean just took me."_

_The boy stared at Sam in awe. "Seriously? Like, he said you could hang out with him without someone making him?"_

_Sam nodded proudly. Just then, a beautiful teenage girl, looking to be about seventeen, came up along side Weston, putting a hand on his shoulder. She smiled sweetly at Dean and held out her right hand. "Well, hey there. I think I've seen you around the school. I'm Jocelyn. You just moved here, right?"_

_Dean threw on his most charming smile as he kissed, rather than shook, her hand. "Only been here a month…I'm still getting to know the place."_

_The girl smiled back. "Well, I'm real glad you found your way to the fair. Did you, uh, did you get a tour of the grounds yet?"_

_Dean raised his eyebrows and shook his head. He pointed over at Sam. "No, just got here. My little brother wanted to come, but we haven't had the pleasure of a tour. Be honest, the grounds are a bit confusing…maybe you could help us out."_

_Sam followed along the conversation with amazement. Weston's sister was a senior and the head cheerleader. Sam may have only been in middle school, but he was aware enough to know that senior girls, much less head cheerleaders, did not go out with sophomores, unless of course that sophomore was Dean. Dean had said two minutes to get a girl to take off her bra. How long had it been so far?_

_Sam looked over at his friend as Weston rolled his eyes at his sister. Seeing Sam staring, Wes moved to Sam's side and whispered into his ear. "Jocelyn and the other cheerleaders have been swooning over some new "hunk" for the past month. Guess we know who they were talking about now, huh?"_

_Sam bit his lip to keep from laughing. He whispered back to his friend. "Dean's good with girls."_

_Weston nodded. "Well then they're perfect for each other…Joce's good with guys."_

_Sam giggled and Jocelyn looked warily at the two boys. Then she turned back to Dean. "What do you say I give you that tour?"_

_Dean looked over at Sam. "You okay hanging out with your friend for a little while?"_

_Without waiting for a response, Jocelyn smiled and wrapped her arm through Dean's. She looked down at her brother. "Mom, dad, and Gage are already at the square dance. Why don't you guys go join them?"_

_Weston shook his head. "But Joce…"_

_But it was too late- Jocelyn and Dean were already walking away. Not that he had been given a chance to answer, but it was okay with Sam that his brother go off with Jocelyn. While hanging out with Dean at the fair would've been great, hanging out with Wes was okay too, and this way Dean could also have fun. After all, it wasn't really fair that Dean had to give up his own friends just so Sam could go to the fair._

_Weston didn't seem as pleased. Sam questioned him, "Uh, did you not want to hang out with me?"_

_Wes shook his head. "No! No, I…it's just that the square dance is for families of four and with Joce out, my family's already got four people." Weston bit his lip as he tried to think of a solution. "Dylan, Jesse, and Graham are already there with their families, maybe one of them has an extra spot."_

_Sam winced. Dylan and Jesse both had families of four and Graham had a family of six. He doubted there'd be room for him with any of them._

_Sure enough, when they approached the open tent, all the families seemed to be in complete sets. So Sam sat, in a rusty folding chair pushed just outside the tents boundaries. At first he watched the fun, the smiles, the family time, and in some moments, he even laughed with them- soaking up the fun of do-si-do-ing from his seat on the outskirts. But after awhile, enjoying the fun from afar became less appealing and Sam's eyes began to wander behind him, to all the fun events, displays, and games set up throughout the fair grounds. The game closest to him was called "Shoot-out," a game with air guns and targets that popped up in random order. Sam watched the various players take their turns. So far, the people of Idaho had proven their skill with guns, but none had managed a perfect score… Sam eyed the Nintendo console with desire. He had played the games at some friends houses, but of course never owned a console of his own- there really was no room for that sort of thing on the road; it would've been a waste of money… but if he WON one, chances are his father would let him keep it- so long as Sam could set it up and play it himself without bothering his father in any way…_

_The game wasn't easy though, he had gotten a good sense of that from watching the other players- and a perfect score would be needed to win the Nintendo. Sam admitted he was a better shot than most, but he still didn't think he was good enough to get a perfect score- but Dean could. Sam turned back to the dancing, biting his lip. He hoped Dean didn't spend the WHOLE night with the girl, but really he couldn't complain, at least Dean had taken him to the fair._

_Graham plopped down next to Sam, wiping off his brow as one of his younger siblings took his spot in the square dance. "Next few dances involve six people- you could probably hook up with a group…"_

_Sam shrugged. "Nah, that's okay. I'm not really good at this anyway. I'd just screw everybody up." Graham nodded in understanding, still catching his breath. Sam questioned his friend. "Are you gonna ride any of the rides later?"_

_The other boy shook his head. "Nah. Me, Wes, Dyl, and Jes spent the whole day doin' that."_

_Sam slumped, dejected. "Oh."_

_Graham hit him on the back. "You missed most of the good stuff, but the rides stay open 'til 11 pm. Doncha got anyone to ride with?"_

_Sam winced as he realized he didn't. He shook his head. "No, not unless Dean meets up with me before 11."_

_Graham smiled knowingly. "Isn't he with Jocelyn?" At Sam's nod, Graham laughed. "I think you should just go on the rides by yourself."_

_Sam shot a dirty look at his friend's back as Graham rejoined the 'family fun'. Sam turned back around in his seat, looking longingly at the rides. Maybe he should ride them himself… it wasn't like he was doing anything where he was. So it was a little pathetic to be riding the fair rides alone, but at least it'd be better than watching everyone else have fun…_

_Sam nodded to himself and stood up determined. He would ride the rides alone. Walking over to the ticket booth, Sam fished through his pockets and found enough money for10 tickets- at most three rides. Walking over to the Tilt-a-Whirl, Sam took his place on line. It only took him a few seconds to recognize the voice of the guy standing three people in front of him._

_Sucking in his lips, Sam bounced on his toes, wondering if he should alert his brother to the fact that he was standing only a few feet away. If he told Dean, he might be able to join them on the ride, but then, he'd also be intruding on his brother's good time. Cutting his sibling some slack, Sam kept quite- instead watching Dean as he flirted with the cheerleader next to him. Dean really was smooth._

"_Hey Joce!"_

_Sam turned to see a large group of senior boys heading toward the cheerleader and her escort. All wore varsity jackets, although Sam couldn't tell for what team. The arrogant looking guy in the front smirked as he approached the couple. Sam watched his brother take his arm off the girl's shoulders and step back._

"_Seriously? You're hanging out with the freak?"_

_Jocelyn rolled her eyes. "He's hot, Kev. I mean, look at him!"_

_Dean turned three shades of red as the sports team looked him over. The leader grimaced. "Joce, he's a sophomore and he worships Satan."_

_Dean stepped forward. "Dude! I do not worship Satan."_

_Another jock spoke, "Whatever…that's why you told Dallas that it sounded like his house had a demon in it…"_

_Dean defended himself. "He was the one saying that all this weird crap was happening and that his pets kept disappearing, leaving sulphur behind and then turning up three days later mutilated. I was trying to help him out!"_

_Sam nodded- sounded like a demon to him too. But the jocks looked at Dean like he was crazy. The leader took a step back- a semi-amused look on his face. "Wow man… you really are a freak…" He turned to his friends, "You hear that guys? He was only helping Dallas out by saying that his house was evil… Never occurred to him that Dallas was just MAKING IT UP. Only a complete wackjob would've taken him seriously…"_

_Dean opened his mouth to speak, but whatever he was saying was drowned out by the condescending/laughing seniors. _

"_Yeah and how would you know what demons are like if you don't worship Satan?"_

"_Man, I'm glad I'm not a sophomore, I wouldn't want to have to sit next to the weirdo."_

"_Yeah poor Reid- he said Dean just leeched onto him. Get this, the freak even invited himself to a movie today. The guys tried to get out of him coming, but he didn't get it- even brought his little brother along…"_

"_He actually thinks Royce, Reid, and Cody are his friends. He should hear what they say behind his back. Here freak, let me make it clear for you- they don't like you. When they say they don't know what they're doing for lunch everyday, they really do. They're just trying to avoid you. But you never get it do you? Everyday you just follow them into the cafeteria."_

"_Yeah- Cody told me that the other day, the three of them walked all over the cafeteria in between tables, over chairs, just to see what he would do. He followed them the whole way…even over the chairs. Don't you have a mind of your own? Do you not get that they don't like you?"_

_Sam swallowed, keeping his eyes on Dean's face. Dean didn't know he was here and while he would've loved nothing better than to defend his brother- he was old enough to know that to the seniors, Sam's twelve-year-old defense would only make Dean look worse. Dean moved back away from the twelfth graders, an unreadable look on his face. Then, he looked over at Jocelyn. "You want to go somewhere else…or you want me to leave?"_

_The cheerleader looked conflicted, obviously wanting to be with Dean, but not wanting to be 'the chick who's dating a freak'. She made an apologetic face. "I'm kind of friends with them…"_

_Dean nodded. "That's cool. Hey, I had a good time- I'll take what I can get. You're beautiful…"_

_Sam stood staring in admiration. If he had been in Dean's situation, there'd be no way he'd be able to handle it that smoothly. Obviously, the cheerleader was impressed as well. She blushed and kissed Dean on the cheek. "You're really sweet…"_

_The jocks made a face. "Aw gross… man Joce, your standards have gone to shit."_

_Jocelyn glared back at them. "You guys are assholes. You're just jealous because all the girls in the school think he's hot and the rest of you aren't being fawned over anymore."_

_The leader held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, you want to carry the son of Satan, be my guest…"_

_Jocelyn scowled and turned back to Dean. She squeezed his hand. "Thanks for the good time…"_

_He smiled, semi-quoting Casablanca. "We'll always have the state fair."_

_Jocelyn laughed and began walking toward square dance tent- the sports team followed her. Dean stared after them for a moment, before looking around and smiling sheepishly at the bystanders waiting in line around him. Raising his brows in salutation, Dean stepped off the line and over to the side of the ride. Sam squinted, Dean's head was down and for a second, it looked like his hands were shaking. But now that the crowd was gone, Sam could approach his brother. "Dean!"_

_Dean looked up with a start, an almost panicked look on his face. "I thought you were at the circle dance thing…"_

_Sam rolled his eyes. "Square dance, Dean…"_

_Dean shrugged, "Whatever. What are you doing here?"_

_Sam pointed to the line. "The dance was for families so I went to ride the rides."_

_Dean looked around the area. "Where are your friends?"_

_Sam nodded to the tent. "Dancing- I was gonna go on the Tilt-a-Whirl by myself. I didn't want to ruin your date, but I guess those jerks did that."_

_Dean paled. "How long were you there for, Sammy?"_

_Sam shook his head. "I don't know…hey, how come you didn't kick their ass for lying about you?"_

"_Lying. Right." Dean whispered the phrase, seemingly to himself, and then shrugged. "I was slightly outnumbered don't you think?"_

_Sam agreed. "I thought maybe I should say something, but then I didn't know if it'd make it worse to have your little brother defending you."_

_Dean went to respond, but Sam cut him off remembering the Shoot-out game. "Hey Dean! There's this shooting game over there and the top prize is a Nintendo if you get a perfect score. Can you get it for me? I thought dad might let me keep it if we got it for free."_

_Dean made a face. "These games are probably fixed, Sammy."_

_Sam shook his head. "No…I was watching people play it before, it's not fixed. Nobody won yet, but you're way better than them. I've seen you. You could even challenge one of those assholes to a shoot-off and make them eat their words." _

_Dean grimaced, not seeming to like that idea. He clamped his brother on the shoulder. "Yeah…thanks, but I think I've got enough pressure to beat that game all ready." _

_Sam appeared confused. "What pressure?"_

_Dean just shook his head and changed the subject. "So you want to ride the rides first or you want me to win you that Nintendo?"_

_Sam jumped in excitement. "You'll ride with me?!"_

_Dean stared as though he was crazy. "Um, yeah? Why? I got other things to do right now?"_

_Sam grinned. "Rides first. Then I want funnel cake. Then you can kick ass in that shooting game." He grabbed his brother's hand and began to pull._

_Dean rolled his eyes. "Okay, well, if that's all…by the way, who's paying for all this?"_

_Sam stopped. He spent all his money on the ten tickets, which would now only be enough for only one ride for the two of them. Just as his disappointment fully began to take hold, he heard his brother laughing. Sam looked up._

"_I'm kidding, dude. I got it. Man…you should've seen your face…"_

_Sam glared. "You're a dick."_

_Dean unsuccessfully tried to stifle his laughter. Finally, after more glaring from Sam, he stopped. "All right. Tilt-a-Whirl then?"_

_Sam's excitement came back full force as he hopped back onto the line. Dean kicked the dirt as he slowly followed in suit. Sam grinned showing all his teeth to his brother. "Thanks, Dean."_

_Dean smiled genuinely, squeezing one of Sam's shoulders as he pulled Sam back and messed up his hair. Sam fixed his appearance, leaning back against his brother as they waited in the line._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Sam grinned his way through the grass field parking lot, Nintendo in one hand and fish in a bag in the other. It was difficult to see due to the lack of lights in the field, but the moon provided some illumination. Sam read the side of the Nintendo box as he walked. "Dean! It already comes with two games! When we get back can you help me set it up? We can play SuperMarioBros. It says it comes with it…or we could play Duckhunt. I've never played that one…"_

_Dean shot an amused glance over at his brother. "Watch where you're goin', Sammy."_

_Tripping over a hole in the field, Sam stumbled but quickly regained his balance. Quickly, he checked on the small goldfish swimming in the bag, worried that the stumble had jostled it. He had won the fish himself in a ring toss game. _

_Dean called over to him. "I don't know where you think you're gonna put that. It's not like we can take a goldfish on the road with us."_

_Sam shrugged. "We can keep John while we're here though…"_

_Dean squinted. "John?"_

_Sam nodded, studying the fish's face as it bobbed up and down in the bag. "After dad."_

_Dean laughed. "I'm sure he'll be thrilled."_

_Sam looked up. "We don't have a bowl for him."_

_Dean raised his brows. "Don't look at me, dude. I'm not wasting what's left our money on a fishbowl."_

_Sam turned his attention back to his fish. John stared back at him through the bag. A sudden idea struck Sam. "I know! We can put him in the coffee pot! That's kind of shaped like a fishbowl!"_

"_Yeah- you tell dad that he can't have coffee anymore because his namesake fish is pissin' in the coffeepot."_

_Sam shook his head. "Don't be stupid, fish don't piss."_

_Dean shot his brother a look of disbelief. "What the hell are they teaching you in school? And you're supposed to be the smart one…"_

_Ignoring his brother, Sam continued to examine his fish. "I never had a pet before. It's kind of cool. I think he likes me. Dean, you think he likes me?"_

_Dean glanced over. "I think you should stop staring at the fish and start watching where you're going."_

_Sam huffed, "Give me a break, I'm perfectly able to look at my fish and walk at the- whoa," and then he went down._

_Dean stopped walking and closed his eyes, a mixture of exasperation and disbelief on his face. Crossing his arms with a sigh, he waited for his brother to regain his bearings and his footing. Sam had made it back onto all fours when he called out. "Dean!"_

_Dean jumped at the distress in his brother's voice and ran over. Sam was on his knees, staring panicked at the tiny goldfish that was flopping around in the grass. Apparently, when Sam had fallen, the bag had broken. Sam looked up at his brother. "There's no water! I killed him!"_

_Dean shook his head and looked around before crouching down and putting a hand on Sam's shoulder. "It was an accident, Sammy."_

_Sam stared at the open mouthed, flopping fish with tears in his eyes. "I didn't even have him for fifteen minutes before I killed him! I suck!"_

_Dean said nothing and Sam watched as the fish seemed to pale in the moonlight. The tears in his eyes sparkled as he looked up to his brother. "I don't want him to die, Dean. He's my fish."_

_Dean swallowed, literally sagging with the weight that had just been thrown on his shoulders. Standing up, he looked around once again. Then, he quickly reached down, picked the fish up and began running. Having no idea what Dean was up to, but having full faith in his brother's plan, whatever it might be, Sam left his Nintendo on the ground and ran after his sibling. _

_Sam followed as Dean ran off the field and into the nearby woods. It was only a few seconds into the woods when Dean stopped at the edge of a swamp. Sam caught up to them, out of breath, just as Dean placed the fish down in the water. At first the fish sat still and Sam feared that it was too late for John, but all of a sudden the small goldfish seemed to spring to life, shaking it's tail and diving into the murk. Within seconds it was gone._

_Dean turned to his brother. "I don't think you'll be bringing it home."_

_Sam shrugged. "That's okay. Just so long as he's alive. Sometimes…a parent just needs to know when to let go."_

_Dean laughed. "How understanding of you, Sammy. John was a lucky fish."_

_Sam scoffed at that. If John were a lucky fish, he wouldn't have been won by a clumsy twelve-year-old with no fishbowl. Sam stared at the ground as he followed his brother back into the field. Having returned to where they started, Sam stopped abruptly, looking around. _

_Dean noticed the action. "What?"_

_Sam looked back to the floor, the broken plastic bag remained where he had dropped it, but the Nintendo was gone. Sam looked around again. There was no sign of anybody. He turned to his brother, panicked. "I left the Nintendo here. It's gone."_

_Dean threw up his hands. "Well, why the hell you'd do that?"_

_Sam shook his head. "I was worried about John…" He looked around again, feeling the heat rise up and begin prickling his face. "It's not here Dean…"_

_Dean nodded looking somewhat aggravated. "Well, yeah. Someone probably saw it jut sitting there so they took it."_

_Filled with disappointment, tears began falling down Sam's cheeks. He was so stupid. How could he have just left the Nintendo. He should've known it was too good to be true… A Nintendo was something normal kids got to play with. Sam wiped the tears from his face, annoyed with himself. He didn't know why he was so upset. After all, only three hours ago he had never even imagined owning his own Nintendo. And only 30 minutes ago, he DIDN'T own his own Nintendo. So what was the big deal now? He was in the same position now as he had been then…but for some reason, he couldn't get the tears to stop._

_Sam covered his face, ashamed, as he felt his brother come up at his side and pull him close. He buried his head as he turned into his brother's jacket. Dean seemed to accept him, despite the crying, and quietly placed one hand on Sam's back and another on the back of his head. "It's okay, Sammy."_

_Embarrassed, Sam pulled back and tried to wipe all the tears from his face. Dean hit his shoulder. "We'll come back tomorrow and I'll win you another one."_

_Sam sniffled and looked up. "You don't have to. I don't know why I'm crying. It's not like I had it very long."_

_Dean made no response and Sam shook his head as he continued. "It's just that it was cool, you know? It was like a trophy, nobody else could do it. And everyone knew where it we won it. It was like a sign that advertised that you were my brother… and then, of course, it'd be fun to play with too."_

_Dean looked at Sam as though he were crazy. "You want a sign advertising that I'm your brother."_

_Sam wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I'm a geek, Dean. I'm fat, I'm covered in zits-"_

_Dean interrupted. "You're twelve-"_

_Sam ignored him. "The whole town knows you. Weston said that all the cheerleaders are in love with you and think you're hot and even the guys at your school are jealous of you! And then you shoot better than everyone else…I'm proud. Like all these people want to know you and I actually do."_

_Dean shot his brother a look of disbelief. "Dude, it's been a long day, I think you've finally lost it…I'll get you another Nintendo tomorrow, it's no big deal."_

_Sam nodded and started moving forward. "Thanks, Dean."_

_Dean walked beside him and Sam looked up. "Dean? You think you could teach me?"_

_Dean shook his head in confusion. "Teach you what?"_

_Sam shrugged. "How to be cool?"_

_Dean adjusted the collar on his jacket. "Well, I don't know about that…I mean, cool's not something you can really teach there, Sammy. You just have to be lucky enough to be born with it…" Dean sighed dramatically. "There are so few of us in the world…"_

_Sam made a face and pushed his brother to the side. Dean laughed. "I got a better idea…how 'bout we both come back here tomorrow and you win a Nintendo for yourself."_

_Sam looked up with a start. "I'm not good enough."_

_Dean smiled. "I think I could give you a few pointers…by the time I'm through with you, the whole town will be jealous of YOU."_

_Sam grinned…he liked that thought… _

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello? Earth to Sam…"

Sam shook himself out of his memories and looked up at his brother.

"Man, I must've said you name about twenty times. What planet were you on?"

Sam smiled and rubbed a hand over his face. "I was just remembering the Idaho State Fair."

Dean stared as though Sam were crazy. "What the hell is it with you and the freakin' Idaho State Fair lately?"

Sam shrugged. "Nothin'. I just…I had a good time that day."

Dean's brows shot up in surprise. "Dude, do you even _remember_ that day?"

Sam looked up, confused. "Yeah…why?"

If possible Dean's brows went up higher. "That day sucked."

Sam stood up. "What? No it didn't!"

Dean looked around as though expecting a hidden camera show to appear out of nowhere. "Sam…you missed going on all the rides with your friends 'cause I dragged you to a crappy movie, then you got thrown into a dumpster, when we got to the fair, you had to go on all the rides by yourself because you had no family to go square dancing with, your fish died, and the Nintendo got stolen."

Sam stepped back in confusion. "Wait a minute, my fish didn't die. You saved him; you threw him in the swamp."

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and looked down. Sam frowned in suspicion at the silence. "Dean…"

Dean threw his hands up. "Oh come on Sam, what was I supposed to do? You were lookin' up at me like you expected me to make it all better. The fish was already dead."

Sam shook his head. "But I saw it swim away."

Dean grimaced in apology. "Orange leaf. I threw it in right before you caught up to me."

Sam persisted. "But I saw him shake his tail."

Dean tilted his head to the side. "No, you saw the water ripple. Made it look like the leaf was swimming."

Sam's brows drew together in upset.

"Still think it was a good day?"

Sam flopped back onto the bed. "Why didn't you just tell me he died?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "You were attached to the freakin' thing. Hell, it's twelve years later and you're still referring to it as 'he'."

Sam stared at his shoes, looking dejected. "You could've told me, Dean."

Dean sighed. "I wanted to fix it for you. You trusted me to fix it…I didn't want to let you down."

Sam understood what his brother was really saying. It wasn't just about not wanting to upset Sam, Dean had been worried that Sam wouldn't look up to him anymore. And a part of that was true, although knowing that his fish had died wouldn't have changed the way he saw Dean, but that year, the year when he was twelve, was probably the last year that he blindly worshipped his brother. After that, of course he still looked up to Dean and of course Dean's opinion meant more to him than anything, but it was different. When Sam was twelve, Dean was perfect- not human. When Sam was twelve, Dean was capable of fixing anything, every decision he made was correct, nobody could get the best of him, nobody was smarter than him, nobody was cooler than him, and he never made any mistakes. After that year, Dean somehow had become a human being, still one of the greatest human beings in the world, but no longer perfect. When he was twelve, Sam had full faith that Dean could fix any problem. After age twelve, Sam had full faith that Dean _would try_ to fix any problem.

Sam shook his head, he hadn't realized how _blind_ his worship was at that age until now. At the time, Sam had only seen that his brother was popular with women, great at shooting, able to handle confrontation in stride. But looking back through his memories, he could see the whole picture now. Dean hadn't been popular in school. In fact, the way it seemed, Dean hadn't had any friends at all. After all, Dean's 'friends' had been the ones talking behind his back and throwing Sam in a dumpster. Speaking of which…

"Hey Dean?"

Dean dropped the bag from his shoulder and looked over at his brother.

"Don't…" Sam grimaced as he tried to ask the question without insulting his brother. "Uh…"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Spit it out, Sammy."

Sam took a breath and went for it. "I was kind of surprised that you didn't go after Royce, Reid, and Cody after what they did."

Dean stared at his brother as though he were insane. "What are you kidding me? Dude, they threw you in a dumpster. Damn straight I went after them."

Sam sat back in shock. "But…you were…when?"

Dean shook his head in disbelief and picked the bag back up. "That Monday. I wasn't gonna go after them with you standing right there. Besides, I had to take you to that crappy fair. I got them when we were at school." He flashed a grin at his brother. "Don't worry, Sammy, I kicked their ass."

Sam smiled and nodded his appreciation. Then Dean sighed. "Although…kind of took the wind out of my sails when I saw that Royce had his jaw wired shut because somebody broke it…"

Sam burst out laughing as he looked over toward his brother. "I broke his jaw?"

Dean grinned back. "I made damn sure to tell everyone that it was a twelve year old that did it, too. Until then, I never knew you had it in you, Sammy."

Sam's expression became serious as he remembered that moment. "Yeah well. He said some things he shouldn't have."

Dean nodded. "I know; Cody told me what they said. Thanks man, for defending me. Although, I wasn't really thrilled that you took on five guys at once and got thrown in a dumpster because of it."

Sam stared at his brother. "Dean…" He sucked in his lip as he tried to find the right words. "You weren't popular in high school, were you?"

Dean gave him a melancholic smile and shrugged. "Depends on what you mean by popular. I was usually pretty popular with the ladies."

Sam took on a compassionate expression as he wondered if Dean's "popularity" with the girls had been a good thing in his brother's eyes. Being "popular" with most of the girls in a school would mean that Dean had been something to be had- literally- rather than someone to actually be friends with. Sam furrowed his brow. "Not with the guys though?"

Dean swallowed. "Nah…" Then he seemed to perk up. "But, hey, I was comin' from a whole other world, I mean, how many of those guys had killed two rawheads, fifteen ghosts, two demons, and a shapeshifter by their sixteenth birthday?"

Sam shook his head in wonder. "I…I never knew. I mean, I always thought you-"

"Would win most popular in the school yearbook?" Dean raised his brows as he interrupted. At Sam's nod, he smiled back. "I know. I liked it that way. I didn't want you to know the truth."

Sam squinted in confusion. The truth? Did Dean believe that Sam's blind worship had been built on lies? "Dean…you didn't have to hide it from me-"

Dean cut him off again. "Look Sam, going to school for you, it was fun. Wherever we went, you had your friends, the teachers liked you, you loved learning that book stuff. For me? It sucked. I was bored out of my mind and every three seconds I had to deal with some asshole calling me a freak or saying some shit behind my back- setting me up for humiliation. At first, I'd kick their ass, but then to be honest, it just got to a point where I just said the hell with it and learned to ignore them. But it was exhausting and it made me feel like shit- and then I'd come home and you'd…it was like all day I was a piece of shit and then around you I got elevated to a god. You looked at me like I was the end all be all of everything. I didn't want you to know-"

This time Sam interrupted. "Dean, I idolized you because of you. Not because of what other people thought, or didn't think, of you. I looked up to you because I _knew_ all the incredible things you did with dad. I trusted you because you never, ever let me down. I had total faith in you because whenever I needed anything, I didn't even need to ask, you were already there. I believed you could do anything because anything I asked, no matter how unrealistic, you found a way to do it. You're right- I did worship the ground you walked on, but it had nothing to do with what other people thought- and it wasn't based on lies. Maybe I was a little blind and maybe I chose only to see the good things about you, but they weren't lies. Everything I thought about you, every reason that I looked up to you, was true."

Dean scoffed. "Sam, you'd go on and on about how cool I was and how you wanted to be that cool-"

Sam stood up. "You _were_ cool, Dean. It didn't matter if the kids in your high school couldn't see it. They never even knew you. I wanted to be like you because of who you were, not what other people thought."

Dean shook his head and readjusted the bag on his shoulder. "I'm bringing this out to the car." Then, with a turn, Dean left the room.

Sam flopped backwards on the bed, flinging his good arm over his head. His brother's bottomless pit of low self-esteem was exhausting to deal with- not to mention frustrating. Sam did understand now though what he brought, or at least what he _had_ brought to the relationship. He had begun to realize it when he heard Dean's speech to Drew, but he understood it better now. While it was true that for the most part, Sam had been dependent on Dean to save and care for him, Dean had also depended on him, but for other things. Dean had told Drew that equal sacrifices didn't mean that both people gave the same thing, it just meant that both people gave what they were capable of. Because he was younger, Sam couldn't make the same sacrifices or care for Dean the same way that Dean had cared for him, but still it seemed, that Sam was able to give his brother something back- if only by making Dean feel good about himself.

Sam bit his lip. Although he was more realistic now and knew that Dean wasn't perfect, there was still a large part of him that trusted his brother to fix everything; there was still a large part that worshipped Dean, although the idolization was no longer blind. Whereas when he was twelve Sam had wanted to be _exactly_ like Dean, now Sam wanted to be Sam, but with some of Dean's skills and attributes- and regardless of his age, Sam was DAMN proud to have Dean for a brother.

Sam sat up on the bed and began playing with his mouth. He had an idea. Maybe there was another way he could return the favor to Dean. Sure, it wouldn't even come close to equalizing what Dean had done for him over the past year, but at least he'd show Dean that he was still idolized, at least a little bit.

Right on cue, Dean walked back in the door. He glanced down at Sam, who was once again sitting on the bed. "Seriously, man, are you coming or what?"

Sam smiled. "I was just thinking."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Oh God."

Sam laughed at the reaction. "You know...that move you made on Drew...when you went from facing the gun to holding it within a second...that was pretty awesome."

Dean beamed. "Dude, you know how long I've been waiting to use that?! I learned that one like five years ago and I never get to use it!"

Sam grinned back, then he looked at the floor. "Uh…" he coughed, "…hey, Dean?"

Dean sighed and waited for the impending question. Sam squinted up at him. "Could you teach me?"

Dean looked surprised. "The move?"

Sam nodded and Dean stepped back, looking at his brother appraisingly. Finally, he shrugged, speaking softly to his brother. "Take out your gun…"

Quickly, Sam jumped up and pulled his gun from the back of his pants. Dean walked towards him. "Okay, now point it at me."

Sam removed the magazine and the bullet from the chamber and then pointed the gun at his brother.

Dean stood two feet in front of him. "Okay, this'll be quick, keep your eyes on my hands, so you know what they do."

Sam nodded. Then Dean moved and within a second Sam found himself looking in the barrel of his own gun. He had missed the whole thing, but he couldn't help grinning. "Man, that's awesome."

Dean rolled his eyes, looking serious. "You missed the whole thing, didn't you?"

Sam nodded, still grinning. Dean laughed and handed his brother back the gun. "Okay, I'm gonna do it slower this time, so you'll have to just let go."

Sam nodded and carefully watched as his brother disarmed him once again. After the move was over, Dean looked back at him. "You think you got it?"

Sam nodded, a little unsure, and watched as Dean pointed the gun at him. Dean spoke again. "It'll be harder with your left arm strapped down like that, but you should be able to do this with one hand."

Sam agreed and took a breath. Then, he tried to replicate his brother's move. Five seconds later, he was still hanging on Dean's arm, trying to pry the gun from his brother's hands. From above him, he heard Dean's mirth-filled voice. "Dude, you suck at this. If I was a bad guy I could've killed you eight times by now."

Sam straightened up and stepped back, a frustrated look on his face. "Well what the hell am I doing wrong?"

Dean sighed. "First of all, you're coming in at the wrong position. You need all your weight on your left leg. Second…" Dean took his brother's hand and positioned in over his own on the gun. "You need these two fingers to hook the palm of my hand, and these two need to be on the gun."

Sam listened attentively as his brother taught. Finally, Dean pushed him back. "Alright, try it again."

Once again Sam moved in, trying to quickly disarm his brother…and once again, he failed.

Dean shook his head. "That was better, your feet were in the right place that time, but your hand is still grabbing wrong."

Sam growled in frustration and Dean smiled encouragingly. "You'll get it, Sammy. It took me about three months to get to a point where I was confident that it'd work."

Sam nodded and Dean pointed the gun at him again. "Try again."

Sam took a deep breath and attacked his brother again. It amazed him that even though Dean was doing him a favor by teaching him, this interaction was meaningful to Dean too. One look at his brother's face and Sam could see how much it meant to him. Dean was proud that he had impressed Sam and he was proud to be able to teach Sam.

Sam shook his head as he, yet again, failed to disarm his brother. His whole life he had tried to impress Dean, aware that what Dean thought meant more to him than almost anything…he had never realized that it worked both ways. He could've sworn a few weeks ago that he had truly known his brother, had accurately understood their relationship. But it seemed that at the time, he had only seen one side of it- in reality he had been blind...

"Sam..." Dean's voice broke through Sam's reverie, "...try again."

* * *

_Oh thank goodness it's over. I again apologize for how long it took me to finish this. Thanks for being so patient. Out of curiosity, so I know for my next piece, how much did you feel that you were missing by this being a Sam pov only story? Was it okay like this, or did you feel that you were really missing something by not having Dean's pov? I'm just trying to figure out how to approach my next one, so I'm very interested in your feedback. And, as always, please let me know if you liked the story in general… Thanks!!!_


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